POLO FACE

I went to play polo and go poloed in my face

It hurt really bad, and I got a face brace,

I looked underneath,

And out dropped all my teeth,

And I thought boy, I've got a court case.

MY TEAM LOST ME A QUARTER, QUACK, QUACK

It's Monday morning and my football team sucks,

I hate the digs from my coworker ducks,

They all quackity quack,

I got none to give back,

At least I bet in just quarters, not bucks.

FLOTILLA PONTOONED

It's name was Flotilla, and that was my boat,

It was pontooned with pop bottles that held air, and could float,

Then way out on the bay,

It sank to the fish bones and clay,

That was the very last thing I wrote.

THE FISH IN THE WEEDS

I hooked a fish out in the weeds,

For that is where the big fish feeds,

He fought and tangled,

And, my line angled,

That battle is among my proud deeds.

THE TEETER TOTTER TEARS

It rained on my teeter totter, and now it's all wet,

If now I teeter totter, I will find woe and then regret,

My pants will get all muddy,

And my neighbors will say I'm cruddy

Then I'll end up crying, because I am upset.

TILT CAMPING, HURRAY

"Tilt Camping", is camping on the steep side of a hill,

The tilt in that world gives us vet campers a thrill,

There is common wash outs from rain,

And rolling downhill logs causing pain,

There are many ways nature hunts for a kill.

MY PATH TO GONDOLIER SCHOOL

I thought I'd try my hand at tennis,
But, after many fly balls I was labeled a menace,
I was ordered off the court,
To attempt a  new sport,
Now, I'm a  gondolier in old Venice.

Cleaning One's Clock With A Dock Limerick

Barney traveled upriver in a fancy canoe,

He traveled real fast, because the canoe was brand new,

But he ran into a dock,

And that cleaned his clock,

The dock was damaged, and the owner did sue.

EVERY NINTH FISH IS ALWAYS A ZOMBIE

Every ninth fish is always a zombie,

So says my fishing bud Bob Abercrombie,

He says "it's not a surprise,

They have death in their eyes,"

I asked him which type he said, "Omni".

A FOOL AND HIS CAR ON THIN ICE ARE SOON PARTED

I drove my car out on the ice to do some tip up fishing,

Then, I found out that safe ice was just some foolish wishing,

Under my tires there was a "crack, crack,"

Then, I knew the lake was about to attack,

And, down went my car,

But, it didn't sink too far,

For it landed on another car's back. 

PUDDING ON THE BASKET

Rich had pudding on his basket,

He did not know how it got there,

It tasted like tapioca,

With a trace of pear,

Rich had pudding on his bicycle,

He did not know how it got there,

It had features of a squishy Smores,

Except it had some hair.

THE WINDCHILL, WINDCHILL GO AWAY LIMERICK

Windchill, windchill go away,

Or, I will freeze my face today,

I must shovel snow,

Or, I cannot go,

Ice fishing out on the bay.

I'M GAMBLING MY WAY INTO A HOLE

I watched football on Christmas Day,😯

My team lost, I'll have to pay,🤕

Because of my gambling plot,🤑

I have a pension, not,😲

I'll now work until I'm with worms and clay.😭

NO TEAM SPIRIT ON FOOTBALL SUNDAY

I cannot get my team spirit in gear,

It's football on Sunday and I have no cheer,

No ants in my pants, 

To dance and shout chants,

Because the love of my life forgot beer.

MY PATH TO GONDOLIER SCHOOL

I thought I'd try my hand at tennis,
But, after many fly balls I was labeled a menace,
I was ordered off the court,
To attempt a  new sport,
Now, I'm a  gondolier in old Venice.

I NEED DETROIT FOOTBALL

When it finally happens and it's the football time of year,

I'll be watching from home decked out in Detroit Lions' gear,

Although, I'll not be a present fan,

I'll watch with all of Michigan,

And, we'll be eating tacos and pizza while, sipping pop and beer.