MR. MEADE WAS AN INSTRUMENTAL STAR

Mr. Meade was truly a rare instrumental star,
He played "Flight of the Bumblebee" on trumpet or guitar,
He played in Chicago and New Orleans,
And, in Japan and the Philippines,
From a poor small town he really went far.

THE NO-SEE- EM FLIES

Jon was attacked by the no-see-em flies,
When attacked in mass everyone dies,
Poor Jon fell asunder,
By the no-see-em plunder,
He never could say his goodbyes.

THE SATIRICAL LIMERICK

A satirical limerick was let loose,
That helped to cook a Congressman’s goose,
It made him look bad,
So, he got really mad,
And, banned limericks for satirical use.

THE NANNY LIMERICK

My nanny sailed away on a ship,
Her nanny job she decided to flip,
And, as to my kids,
She gave them all goodbye bids,
But, she wanted a job that was hip.

THE MONEY VAMPIRE

My banker has a desperate desire,
To be a real life money vampire,
On my credit he sucks,
Charges big interest bucks,
And, my bank fees are going much higher.

NASTY TWEET FOR THE EX LIMERICK

Randy's ex-wife sent him a real nasty tweet,
She said she left him because of his stinky feet,
Randy blamed the wet weather,
And, cheap imported leather,
But, it was foot fungus combined with the heat.
 

CAROLINE WAS THE LIGHT ON THE BAY

Caroline was the light on the bay,
When she left the light faded away,
I promised that I would change,
But, my voice was out of range,
Now my heart breaks with each passing day.

JUNIOR EXPLORED HIS ID

Junior decided to explore his id,
But, found out his id was really a a squid,
So, Junior swam out to the sea,
To eat fish and be free,
And, do whatever all squids always did.

MY BOSS MR. WENDELL

Wendell was a wild weird wart,
With whopping wicked ways,
He cried over each labor cost report,
And, rewarded workers with false praise.

And, if workers asked for a raise,
Wendell would really weep,
Then, he’d replace those workers Ono, dos, tress,
Well, Wendell was a creep.

TONY RIDES HIS PIG LIMERICK

Tony liked to ride his pig,
Out to the yearly truffles dig,
But, the pig wouldn't use his snout,
Until he had a pint of good stout,
And, a hand-rolled menthol-flavored brown cig.    

THE LIGHTNING STRIKE LIMERICK

Bye, bye heat wave with the new falling rain, 
But, the lightning strike has caused me so much pain, 
I know that I’m not dead,
Cause I feel pain in my head, I can’t afford a hospital bed, 
So, I’ll drink some homemade hooch instead.