Papa Craig Mitchell mixed his coffee and tea, He added milk, sugar and, honey made by a bee, Many thought he was insane, Some disease of the brain, But, Papa Craig Mitchell still lives at age 93.
My banker told me to buy real estate, I lost my shirt by the closing date, My broker said buy stocks, Then, stocks hit the rocks, I guess being broke is just my fate.
I lost my job, my car and, my home, I'm kind of stuck with no where to roam, I've moved in with my parents, I'm here with forbearance, I can't drink the stuff with the foam.
A band played way out of tune, They played from midnight until noon, And, they could not keep a beat, Even tapping their feet, I wish they would quit really soon.
I fear my face has been Dr. Jeckeled,
I went to bed with clear skin and woke up all freckled,
And, the great change in my face,
Has my friends on my case,
For all the rest of the day I was heckled.
It's Friday the Thirteenth and I can't win, I'm being visited by a houseful of kin, They devoured all my steaks, Leaving me to eat just pancakes, And, they drank all of my beer, wine, bourbon and gin.
Jason was the limerick king, He could rhyme about anything, He was good with the rhyme, But his time was a crime, So he never had any bling. JASON TRIED TO WRITE MUSIC VERSE Jason tried to write music verse, But, each revision sounded worse, His love unrequited, Got no one excited, He became a registered nurse.
Harold was a thespian, He wrote the thespian news, In order to right something that sounded good, Harold really hit the hard booze, So many actors were really bad, Harold could not hide his humor, They gave so much that it was sad, That their acting was a cancer tumor, Their timing was way off, Their sincerity was not true, They sounded best when someone would cough, They were terrible and all but, they knew.
I decided to go to the Western Bar, I walked because it was not too far, My white cowboy hat had yellowed, So, passersby bellowed, My western look wasn't quite par.
My fingers got blown off today,
Now, my banjo I clearly can't play,
I blame my cell phone,
Which was explosion prone,
Because, of hot apps downloaded in May.
In Grand Traverse Bay there are sharks who will bite, So, onto your arms and your legs hold on tight, And, best guard your head, If sharks eat that you're dead, And, headless bodies fill tourists with fright.