I have the laziest cat in my dwelling,
Lately, his litter box has been smelling,
I told my cat to clean it out,
But, he just cracked open another stout,
Then, said that if I didn't clean it out he was telling.
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Thursday, January 19, 2017
I SMELL A LITTER BOX
Labels:
HUMOR,
LIMERICK,
litter box,
Pet Cat,
Smelly Home,
Stout Beer
Thursday, January 12, 2017
I HIBERNATE BUT I'D RATHER HEAD SOUTH
As Mr. Winter opened his mouth,
Many tweeters flew to the South,
But, when I felt the cold air,
I was a hibernating bear,
Still, I envy critters that are heading douth.
Many tweeters flew to the South,
But, when I felt the cold air,
I was a hibernating bear,
Still, I envy critters that are heading douth.
Labels:
BEARS,
BIRDS,
Douth,
Hibernation,
HUMOR,
LIMERICK,
Migratory Animals,
South,
WINTER
Tuesday, January 10, 2017
BRAIN PUDDING
I don't mind being called a Hypocrite,
I often say one thing then, do the opposite bit,
Ideas, my mind can't hold,
My brains are pudding I've been told,
But, I'm not the one having a fit.
I often say one thing then, do the opposite bit,
Ideas, my mind can't hold,
My brains are pudding I've been told,
But, I'm not the one having a fit.
Labels:
HUMOR,
Hypocrites,
LIMERICK,
PHILOSOPHY,
Pudding For Brains
Sunday, January 1, 2017
2017 ON THE NEGATIVE HAIKU
Labels:
2017,
Bad Year,
DARK HUMOR,
HAIKU,
predictions
Tuesday, December 27, 2016
MY COMPUTER SCREEN PROBLEM
My computer screen obscured my view,
Through the window in the door,
I moved my computer screen so my view was true,
Then, my screen crashed upon the floor.
Through the window in the door,
I moved my computer screen so my view was true,
Then, my screen crashed upon the floor.
Sunday, December 18, 2016
DON'T BLOG BAD FACTS ABOUT SANTA
There were some bloggers on the net,
Who found some facts that many regret,
Regarding a violent Santa Claus,
Who got divorced for just cause,
Now, all Santa's fans are upset.
Labels:
CHRISTMAS SATIRE,
DIVORCE,
Domestic Satire,
HUMOR,
LIMERICK,
Santa Facts,
Spouse Of Santa,
Violent Santa
MY CRANBERRY WINE HAS GONE BAD
My cranberry wine has gone bad,
It was never too good but it had...
A pungent aroma,
And, it could deliver a coma,
Overall, it wasn't too bad.
It was never too good but it had...
A pungent aroma,
And, it could deliver a coma,
Overall, it wasn't too bad.
Sunday, December 11, 2016
THE MAILMAN AND MY BIRTHDAY MONEY
My grandma said my birthday money was sent directly in the mail,
But, the mailman confessed to stealing it now, he's locked up in the jail,
But, without grandma's money,
My birthday's not sunny,
And, I have no Xbox to play after this tale.
But, the mailman confessed to stealing it now, he's locked up in the jail,
But, without grandma's money,
My birthday's not sunny,
And, I have no Xbox to play after this tale.
Wednesday, December 7, 2016
THE ICE FESTIVAL DID NOT GO WELL
The "Ice Festival" did not go well this year,
I fell through the ice and spilled a whole pint of beer,
The water was ice cold,
And, I'm just getting too old,
I'd prefer "Summerfest" 12 months of the year.
I fell through the ice and spilled a whole pint of beer,
The water was ice cold,
And, I'm just getting too old,
I'd prefer "Summerfest" 12 months of the year.
Labels:
BEER,
COLD,
ICE,
ICE FESTIVAL,
ICE FESTIVAL LIMERICK,
SUMMERFEST,
WINTER HUMOR
Monday, December 5, 2016
YETTI SPAGHETTI MEATBALLS: A MICHIGAN RECEIPE
Danny Dill was a real restaurateur,
He had found an angle; a meat lover’s lure,
Danny Dill hunted the Michigan Yetti,
Then, made Yetti meatballs for his spaghetti,
To Yetti clans Danny Dill was a Cur.
He had found an angle; a meat lover’s lure,
Danny Dill hunted the Michigan Yetti,
Then, made Yetti meatballs for his spaghetti,
To Yetti clans Danny Dill was a Cur.
Labels:
HUMOR NEWS NUTS,
HUMOR SATIRE,
OUTDOORS NEWS NUTS,
OUTDOR SATIRE,
YETI,
YETI MEATBALLS,
YETI ON THE MENUE,
YETI SPAGHETTI
I WAS WATCHING THE NORTHERN STAR
I was watching the northern star,
Unfortunately, I was driving my car,
I hit some black ice,
My car spun round thrice,
I ended up in the same lane at par.
Unfortunately, I was driving my car,
I hit some black ice,
My car spun round thrice,
I ended up in the same lane at par.
Labels:
BLACK ICE,
DRIVER ATTENTION LIMERICK,
NORTHERN STAR
Sunday, December 4, 2016
IT'S THE TIME OF THE YEAR...
It's the time of the year when Santa goes "Ho,Ho",
It's also the time when my snow-blower won't blow,
I'm stuck in the house,
With the kids, dog and, spouse,
I'm just hoping that Santa will show.
It's also the time when my snow-blower won't blow,
I'm stuck in the house,
With the kids, dog and, spouse,
I'm just hoping that Santa will show.
Labels:
SANTA,
SANTA LIMERICK,
SNOW-BLOWER,
STUCK IN THE HOUSE,
WINTER
Saturday, December 3, 2016
THE WALNUT SILLY RHYME
My eyes grew tired,
My eyes went shut,
My shell was cracked,
I am a walnut,
I have no eyes,
At least none to see,
I'm a tasty treat,
Oh, woe is me.
My eyes went shut,
My shell was cracked,
I am a walnut,
I have no eyes,
At least none to see,
I'm a tasty treat,
Oh, woe is me.
Friday, December 2, 2016
BIG BUCK DEER HUNTING-HAIKU
Big buck deer hunting,
Cold, wet, slimy stumps, nose runs,
No see, no shoot, DRAT!
Monday, November 7, 2016
AN ELECTION OR TRICK OR TREAT
An election is like questioning Trick or Treat,
Maybe none of the candy is fit to eat,
And, no matter which kind you pick,
Chances are you'll get sick,
Fancy wrappers are covered with deceit.
Labels:
Deceitful Politicians,
Election,
Election Remorse,
Halloween Candy,
Sickened,
Trick or Treat
Sunday, November 6, 2016
THE END OF DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME
Well, today we've gained an extra hour,
That gives us time for all to shower,
So, relaxed starts the day,
Cause, Daylight Savings Time's gone away,
And, the extra sleep gives us each super power.
Sunday, October 30, 2016
FINANCIAL MARKETS ARE ALL IN THE TANK
Financial markets are all in the tank,
We have all those fraudsters to thank,
Of course, I'm not too bold,
I sold off and bought gold,
And, burned through all my cash in the bank.
We have all those fraudsters to thank,
Of course, I'm not too bold,
I sold off and bought gold,
And, burned through all my cash in the bank.
Friday, October 28, 2016
MY FISH WENT FLYING
I put my fish up for sale,
While it was still flopping around in the pail,
But, I didn't get a buyer,
Just one very high flyer,
An eagle stole my fish by the tail,
While it was still flopping around in the pail,
But, I didn't get a buyer,
Just one very high flyer,
An eagle stole my fish by the tail,
Labels:
eagle,
FISH,
Fish For Sale,
Fish In Pail,
fishing,
HUMOR,
LIMERICK
Tuesday, October 18, 2016
THE SPIDER ROYAL RIVALRY
Fly Biter was the spider king,
He knew so cause he had the royal ring,
But, he got caught in a web,
Spun by his big sister Deb,
Now, she claims to be queen with her bling.
He knew so cause he had the royal ring,
But, he got caught in a web,
Spun by his big sister Deb,
Now, she claims to be queen with her bling.
Wednesday, October 12, 2016
GRANDMA'S PORCELAIN RABBIT
My porcelain rabbit went to the floor,
It scattered pieces from the TV to the door,
The rabbit had been in grandma's old bookcase,
But, I think I'll not replace,
I'll use the money to buy a pizza, ...toppings four.
It scattered pieces from the TV to the door,
The rabbit had been in grandma's old bookcase,
But, I think I'll not replace,
I'll use the money to buy a pizza, ...toppings four.
Labels:
Art,
Broken Ceramics,
GRANDMA,
HUMOR,
Inherited Stuff,
LIMERICK,
Porcelain Rabbit
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