HAM FLAVORED CLERKY MANAGER

A lion walked into a grocery store, looking for a plump clerk,

The clerks were all very thin and busy, rushing around their

 work,

A portly mean manager, named Sam,

Was yelling, and smelled like ham,

The lion hauled Sam out the door, and fed her cubs ham flavored jerk.

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KEEPING COWS FEELING SAFE INCREASES MILK PRODUCTION

I fenced in the barnyard to keep out the big cats,

I plugged the holes in the barn to thwart entry by bats,

Although, their emotions they hid,

The cows loved what I did,

Milk production has increased, so say the new stats.

I MISS MY ST. BERNARD

I saw a little cougar,
Playing in my yard, 
He only weighed 200 pounds,
But, he ate my St. Bernard,

I miss my great big dog,
I'm serious you see,
Because now that my dog is gone,
The cougar is eating me.