A SWAN NAMED SANDY

There once was a big swam named Sandy.
She liked drinking apricot brandy,
She went out on the bay,
Drank her brandy all day,
Then, slept where she found it was handy.

JIM ATE SOME TAINTED SALMON

Jim ate some salmon that his ex-wife had canned,
Tainted with bacteria, it should have been banned,
Jim had the heaves and the squats,
The gray tears and red snots,
He ached in every bone and each gland.

MABEL COOKED FOR HER PET MOUSE

Mabel made a dish of fresh grouse,
She made it for her little pet mouse,
The mouse would not eat the dish,
He preferred to eat only fish,
So, Mabel went fishing for the louse.

WHAT FLOATS IN MY SOUP

What floats in my soup I must say?

Have a beak, a stinger and toupee,

I think that I'll stop,

With what floats on top,

And, let what lies below simply lay.  

I'M THROUGH BECAUSE MY TAXES ARE DUE

Today my income taxes are all due,

I can't pay them so, I guess I am through,

For my savings expired,

When my broker retired,

He left the country and I can't even sue,

 

MY INCOME I NEED TO UPGRADE (FOR TAX PURPOSES)

My income I need to upgrade,
Or, the IRS will be making a raid,
For, my income is small,
And, my tax liability tall,
I wonder how they expect to get paid.

MY INCOME TAX SHORTFALL

My tax forms are due soon this year,
But, cash for taxes well, it just ain't here,
I divorced my spouse,
Sold my business and house,
Still, I'm  coming up way short I fear.