BETSY THE RELIABLE

Betsy, late for work,
Missed buss again, walk too far,
Called in sick again.

Betsy's schedule is very pliable,
She is late and calls in sick a lot,
However,Betsy is so reliable,
You can rely that at work she is not.

MY HEART IS AN ACHING VALINTINE

My heart is an aching valentine,
My girlfriend left me so now I wine,
I'm no good at romance,
But, thought I'd take a chance,
I found love at the bar now I'm fine.

VALENTINES DAY LIMERICK

Well today is Valentines Day,
And, I’ve got something to say,
Forget flowers and candy,
Just bring me some brandy,
The day seems much brighter that way.

TIREMARY, MARY AND HER DAIRY

Mary, Mary liked her dairy,
She liked eggs,ice cream and cheese,
She could eat ice cream by the gallon,
And yet, Mary would never freeze,

Mary, Mary would never tarry,
To fill an omelette with melted cheese,
For to serve an omelette without it,
To Marry was a really cheap tease,

Mary, Mary dated a guy named Barry,
Who was allergic to all dairy foods,
But, every single meal was really scary,
So, Mary dumped Barry for healthier dudes.

FRANK LIKES MUCK

Frank likes to go swimming in lakes full of muck,
That's where he'll go swimming with any luck,
He likes the muck squishing between his toes,
And, any where else the squishy muck goes,
Someday he'll sink down and get stuck.

PAULA WAS AN INCH WORM

Paula was an inch worm who really liked to play,
She inched around on her belly every day,
Then, along came her dad,
He said Paula was bad,
He said she din't measure up any way.

THE PROBLEM WITH NOSE SLUGS

The problem with nose slugs as you all know,
Is you must pick and pull at them or they won't go,
They don't come out on their own,
Until they're full grown,
By then they've crawled way down below.

THIS IS THE YEAR OF THE RABBIT LIMERICK

This is called the year of the rabbit,
I have to break my rabbit hunt habit,
So, I’ll go hunting for squirrel,
Though their taste makes me hurl,
If I see a hare I think I will nab it.

THE SUN ALSO SURPRISES

Each morning you wait for the light of day,
You think that the sun always rises,
But, what if that daybreak never comes,
Then, you’ll know the sun also surprises,

Maybe you’re an old Hemingway buff,
You think there’s light on the other side,
But, if you are a Shakespeare buff,
It’s ok if your main character died.













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MY GIRLFRIEND IS CRAZY

My girlfriend is crazy,
She says that I am lazy,
I try to work,
But, I'm a jerk,
I just want a big raizy.

THE WOOD STOVE FAILURE

When you’re living in a trailer,
You can have a wood stove failure,
Cramming in wood just more and more,
Til fire rolls out on the floor,
Then, you’re running out the door,
And, your trailer is no more.

RICH GIRLFRIEND HAIKU

Need rich girlfriend,
I play computer games, drink,
Need money for both.

THE NEW YEAR RECESSION LIMERICK

Now it is again January first,
We hope for good but, fear the worst,
Things aren't so sunny,
In a world with no money,
I'm afraid the world is cursed.