THE TIME TRAVEL PEASANT

My time machine will machine no more,

So, I can't the future or the past explore,

I am stuck in the present,

Like a time travel peasant,

Such a mundane existence, I deplore.

I DO NOT LIKE TO FREEZE, MY WOE

I do not like the rain and snow,🌧❄

I do not like off road car blow,🌬🚙

I do not like I freeze, my woe,🙊

I do not like to pay for tow,🚜

Not ready for the ho, ho, ho. 🎅

PEANUT BREATH, MINTS AND THE MOON SQUIRRELS

I went to the moon to feed a colony of moon squirrels,

I brought them some peanuts and breath mints shaped like pearls,

They thought it a winner,

Eating goobers for dinner,

And, the mints made them classy as earls.

JOURNEY TO THE CENTER OF THE STENCH

From the internet I learned that the world is flat,

And, if I dig down a few feet a new place I'll be at,

So, towards Hawaii went my hole,

I dug fast like a mole,

Found my septic and drowned in that vat.