THE PONY TAIL PIG

A poke-a-dot pig with a long ponytail,
Would dance until the all floor joists would fail,
She went on a long cruise,
For food, dancing and booze,
But, her weight sank the ship before it set sail.

THREE LITTLE SHREWS

There were three little shrews,
They tried wearing each others shoes,
One shrew’s feet were too fat,
Another shrew’s feet were flat,
The third shoved size four feet into twos.

I MISS MY ST. BERNARD

I saw a little cougar,
Playing in my yard, 
He only weighed 200 pounds,
But, he ate my St. Bernard,

I miss my great big dog,
I'm serious you see,
Because now that my dog is gone,
The cougar is eating me.  

THERE WAS A SPIDER NAMED NELLIE

There once was a spider named Nellie,
She liked to eat toast with her jelly,
The home owners went away,
She ate toast and jelly all day,
That's why she has a big belly.

TAMMY WAS CURSED BY A BLACK WIDOW SPIDER-Limerick

Tammy was chugging vodka and apple cider,
When she swallowed a cursed black widow spider,
It bit her in the throat,
She then started to bloat,
Now, she eats all the flies that land beside her.

A WEASEL NAMED WILLIE

There was a weird weasel named Willie,
When seen he'd often seem silly,
He'd bark like a dog,
Then, grunt like a hog,
And, dress in a skirt like aunt Millie.

SIMON WAS A GIANT CRAWDAD

Simon was a giant crawdad,
He ate dead fish and smelled real bad,
He brushed twice a day,
And used mouthwash they say,
He still had no friends and felt sad.

I CAME UPON A FOREST FROG

I came upon a green forest frog,
He barked just like a domestic dog,
He had a bad habit,
He liked to hunt rabbit,
When they bit him he ran under a log.

George the frog would hunt for bunny,
He wanted to get one and make some money,
He hunted with a gun,
But, it was no fun,
George decided to hunt bees for their honey.

ROLAND THE ANT AND THE WINTER STORM LIMERICK

Roland the ant was caught in a winter storm,
Roland had no way to keep himself warm,
But, he found an ant hill,
And, that was a thrill,
He got to lodge in an ant co-ed dorm.

AN OLD DRAGON NAMED FRED

There was an old dragon named Fred,
He ate only things that were red,
He ate a red boat,
Then tried to go float,
But he sank to the bottom instead.

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SUZIE THE SNAPPING TURTLE DID ME IN

There was a snapping turtle named Suzie,
She thought that she would pull a real doosey,
She bit a hole in my wood boat,
Then my boat would not float,
Drowning made me feel really oozey,

A CRAWDAD GRABBED ME BY MY BIG TOE

A crawdad grabbed me by my big toe,
He pinched me so hard he caused me great woe,
But, with my new shotgun,
I just knew I had won,
The crawdad and toe vaporized with one blow.

A MOOSE NAMED PETE-Limericks

Pete the moose was ten feet tall,
But, his feet were just too small,
He could not run fast,
'cause his ankles wouldn't last,
So, a grizzly came by to call.

There once was a moose named Pete,
He was not real fast on his feet,
He ran into a bear,
The bear did not scare,
The bear had plenty to eat.

GROVER THE CHICKEN AND MR. TURKEY

There was a meek chicken named Grover,
Who loved to see the end of October,
Because Mr. Turkey,
Was a real turkey jerky,
In November his time would be over.

THE SAD LIFE OF CLYDE THE CARP-Limerick

Clyde was a brown carp who laid in the mud,
He'd eat fish food or just floating crud,
He couldn't find a wife,
He was single for life,
'cause the lady carp called Clyde a dud.

There once was a carp named Clyde,
He laid all one day on his side,
He would not eat his fish food,
Which seemed really rude,
Then, someone realized Clyde had died.

MY PET SKUNK AMADEOUS

My friend and I had a pet skunk named Amadeus
Whenever he’d see us he couldn't help but to spray us,
We did nothing wrong,
To get a taste of his spray bong,
When we’d see him coming our sense of smell became chaos.

THERE WAS A DUCK NAMED MURKY LIMERICK

There was a duck named Murky,
He sounded like a turkey,
It only stood to reason,
During hunting season,
He was shot for being quirky.

WATCH OUT FOR FROG MONSTERS IN GRAND TRAVERSE BAY

Watch out for frog monsters in Grand Traverse Bay,
They’ll nibble your toes off if you get in their way,
They prefer to eat perch,
Roasted over aged birch,
After an appetizer of the finest pâté.

Watch out for frog monsters when you swim on your back,
The sight of your spine will make frog monsters attack,
They bite with no fear,
Making your eyes really tear,
They won’t break the skin but, will leave your skin blue and black.

Watch out for frog monsters in Grand Traverse Bay,
They’ll pull out the hairs on your chin as you swim,
Splashing does not drive frog monsters away,
They will leave you alone only on their own whim.

A CHIPMUNK NAMED BOB

There was a little chipmunk Bob,
Stealing from squirrels was his job,
He'd watch them all day,
Then, when they hit the hay,
All of their treasures he'd rob.

A chipmunk named Bob liked to steal,
He'd watch the squirrels bury each meal,
A digging Bob would go,
But, once he was too slow,
And a squirrel bit Bit Bob on the heel.

A TIGER, A PIE AND THE FOURTH OF JULY

At a picnic on the Fourth Of July,
A tiger ate all of my apple pie,
I told him that in my heart there's no room,
For anyone who would wrongly consume,
And, that's when he started to cry.