IT'S FRIDAY THE THIRTEENTH THE LIMERICK

It's Friday the Thirteenth and I can't win,
I'm being visited by a houseful of kin,
They devoured all my steaks,
Leaving me to eat just pancakes,
And, they drank all of my beer, wine, bourbon and gin.

NO PAY NO STAY

Your rent you must always pay,
If you don‘t you‘ll be forced away,
Like my parents would always say,
“Remember son, no pay no stay.”

JASON WAS THE LIMERICK KING

Jason was the limerick king,
He could rhyme about anything,
He was good with the rhyme,
But his time was a crime,
So he never had any bling.

JASON TRIED TO WRITE MUSIC VERSE

Jason tried to write music verse,
But, each revision sounded worse,
His love unrequited,
Got no one excited,
He became a registered nurse.

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HAROLD THE THESPIAN

Harold was a thespian,
He wrote the thespian news,
In order to right something that sounded good,
Harold really hit the hard booze,

So many actors were really bad,
Harold could not hide his humor,
They gave so much that it was sad,
That their acting was a cancer tumor,

Their timing was way off,
Their sincerity was not true,
They sounded best when someone would cough,
They were terrible and all but, they knew.

LIONS NEED ME

Woods, full of lions,
Stalking, drooling, pining me,
Feelings, needed, me.

THE YELLOWED COWBOY HAT OF TEXAS

I decided to go to the Western Bar,
I walked because it was not too far,
My white cowboy hat had yellowed,
So, passersby bellowed,
My western look wasn't quite par.

HOT APPS AND MY BANJO CAN'T PLAY

My fingers got blown off today,
Now, my banjo I clearly can't play,
I blame my cell phone,
Which was explosion prone,
Because, of hot apps downloaded in May.

HEADLESS BODIES AND SHARKS IN GRAND TRAVERSE BAY

In Grand Traverse Bay there are sharks who will bite,
So, onto your arms and your legs hold on tight,
And, best guard your head,
If sharks eat that you're dead,
And, headless bodies fill tourists with fright.

I GOT A CRICKET

I got a cricket beneath my old bed,
I got it's chirping in my throbbing head,
So, I took a look,
To smack him with a book,
Out the window the cricket done fled.