A LEPRECHAUN NAMED PETE

There was a leprechaun named Pete,
Corned beef and cabbage was all he’d eat,
He was full of green gas,
And, could not get a lass,
He made music all night tweet, tweet, tweet.

There was a leprechaun named Sam,
He loved his eggs, bacon and ham,
He once ate a green bean,
It gassed up his small spleen,
Then, he released the gas with a “Bam!”

BANKING, FRANKING, THE MARKETS AND ME

I lost my money in shadow banking,
While the markets rose my account was tanking,
Of course when the markets eroded,
My account  then imploded,
Now, I invest in collectible franking.

CORRINE THE MERMAID IN GRAND TRAVERSE BAY

Corrine is a mermaid in Grand Traverse Bay,
She is shy so if she sees you she will swim away,
She swims free like a trout,
But, watches all about,
I'd like to meet and greet her one day.

CHIPMUNK VS SQURREL SHOPPIING PHILOSOPHY

The squirrel went to a regular store,
The chipmunk shopped online,
The chipmunk drank his cheap label beer,
The squirrel sampled fine cheese and wine.

THERE ONCE WAS A CROCODILE NAMED LARRY LIMERICK 1

There once was a crocodile named Larry,
He was the only crock that was hairy,
His fangs were real long,
His claws sharp and strong,
He certainly looked very scary.

THE ROAD MOST TAKEN

If you take the road most taken,
You’ll bring home a lot of bacon,
Take the road that’s not,
You won’t have a pot,
Then, with your family you will be forsaken.

DANNY HATED BOOKS

Danny hated books,
Reading hurt his head too much,
Became Senator.

LARRY THE CROCODILE LIMERICK 2

Larry the crocodile owns a bank,
He swims all day in his deluxe fish tank,
If your payments are late,
Then, you will surely be ate,
It's a fate with a really low rank.

GENERATIONS NO DOUGH

The days are long,

The nights are short,

So, my late nights out,

I must abort,

Working long hours,

Can't get ahead,

What the man don't steal,

I must send to the fed,

I have no vacations,

I have low pay,

While my rich, rich boss,

Lives on holiday,

My parents were poor,

No money to blow,

So, ad infinitum,

Generations, no dough.

PEPPY THE ANTIQUE PICKER LIMERICK

Peppy was a popular picker of antique coins and clothes,
She did not have to see a top pick; she could smell it with her nose,
But, something went really funny,
When Peppy thought she smelled old money,
Because, the smell came from the big toe jams in between her toes.

THE TWIT WHO WRIT THE SKIT

I be the twit who writ the skit,

About the possum who liked to knit,

I thought it had an Emmy's gold glow,

As a series TV show,

Alas, I found no network who liked the bit.

SAVANNAH TOO SMART

Savannah was just too smart,
She was segregated apart,
She had such a yearn,
To be too stupid to learn,
And to laugh when one throws a lawn jart.

CLARITY OF MIND

Today I had a "clarity of mind,"
I realized that I was in a real bind,
My taxes were due,
My insurances too,
And, no money could I find.

IVAN THE BEAR LIKES FISH

There was a grizzly bear named Ivan,
In the river he'd go a diving,
He'd make a wish,
Dive for a fish,
A fish dinner he was a striving.

BUNNY BLUE WAS MY FAVORITE BOOK

Bunny Blue was my favorite book,

My mom would read it in the window nook,

And, every single word,

I memorized as I heard,

With each page where my eyes took a look.

MY CRITIQUE OF DINERS

I read all the silly little signs,

At the places where I dines,

I also notice the sticky tables,

And, the toilet monsters born from fables,

But, all ends well with beers and wines. 

THE ONLINE CREEPY CRAWLERS

Everywhere online I go,

The creepy crawlers think they know,

My wants good and bad,

They target with ad,

To get a click to make some dough.

TEQUILA AND THE ECLIPSE

I went up the hill to watch the eclipse,

The walk was really hard on my hips,

And, Old Sol was unkind,

For my stares made me blind,

Or, was it the tequila that passed over my lips.

TOO LATE FOR THE TIN TOY SOLDIERS

My tin soldiers were all covered in crust,

I had left them outside for years to just rust,

I cleaned them one day,

And, the rust crust went away,

As my tin soldiers all crumbled to dust. 

MY GIRLFRIEND PICKS HER NOSE HAIKU

Girlfriend picks her nose,
Not happy with what I see,
She has job, ignore.