IN LIFE, BEING STUPID HAS CONSEQUENCES

I had a can of old porky beans,

I traded it for some powdered greens,

I tried to get healthy,

But, I was not wealthy,

I was never on a list called "Deans".

ANOTHER HOLIDAY VISITOR

There was an evil raven in my house; he flew in through my door,

He started a conversation, that I decided, best to ignore,

Then he pecked upon my head,

I hit him hard, and he was dead,

So we ate raven for Thanksgiving, and he tasted like a s'more.