THE TEXTING WHILE DRIVING LIMERICK

Texting and driving I just overdo,
That's why I crashed into the  bear cage at the Big City Zoo,
Then, all the bears left their cage,
Went on an eating rampage,
Now, the victim's families are threatening to sue. 

DON'T TRUST BEARS CAUGHT BENEATH A TREE

I found a bear caught beneath a fallen tree,
I got behind him and pushed the big bear free,
I thought I made a new friend,
But, where did I end?
In the bear's belly; where else would I be?

The Bear Got Mad

I came upon a big bear face to face,

I got scared and sprayed him with some bear mace,

Then, the bear got mad,

And, I got sad,

Cause, he scattered my innards all over the place.

THE TEXTING WHILE DRIVING LIMERICK

Texting and driving I just overdo,
That's why I crashed into the  bear cage at the Big City Zoo,
Then, all the bears left their cage,
Went on an eating rampage,
Now, the victim's families are threatening to sue. 

A HOLE, A DUMP AND A VOWEL

A weasel, a skunk and a vowel,
All lived in the very same hole,
Then, along came a bear,
Who sat down on their lair,
And, took a dump and the hole space he stole.

THE BEAR VOTE

I decided to try to vote today,

Past armed guards claiming they have the last say,

The gunnies gave me no scare,

For I brought along my pet bear,

The gunnies soon cleared out of my way.

ENCOUNTER WITH THE UNDERWARE BEAR

I caught a great big bear,🐻

Trying on my underware,👙

Usually, I would not care,🖖

But, his big bottom made a tear,〰〽〰

I'll have to buy me a new pair.🍐

BE KIND, BEARS

I went out to the chicken coop and what beasts did I find,

Two great big bears and they were unkind.

They ate my rooster named Joe,

And, my favorite hen, Flo,

Then, upon my shocked face they did dine.

TIKI TORCH AND THE BEAR

My tiki torch burned down real low,
Until it was just a tiki glow,
But, it made mad a big bear,
For the tiki fouled his clean air,
And bear claws gave my tiki such woe.

I HIBERNATE BUT I'D RATHER HEAD SOUTH

As Mr. Winter opened his mouth,
Many tweeters flew to the South,
But, when I felt the cold air,
I was a hibernating bear,
Still, I envy critters that are heading douth.

WHEN I WENT TO SEE THE BEARS

When I was a little boy I would beg my parents to take me to see the bears.  So, my parents would drive out to the garbage dump and there we'd watch the black bears; the big ones, the little ones and all the in-betweens.  The bears rummaged through all the waste on the ground as they stirred up an airborne sea of flies.  The stench made me sick to my stomach but, the bears didn’t seem to mind as they dug their noses deep into the heaps of stinking cans, papers and broken dishes.  And, they turned over with their great paws old shredded tires, looking for their dinner.  

We’d watch the bears from the car until it started to get dark.  By that time there were a lot of bears mulling around the dump and they were getting closer and closer to the car.  Then, when the light was really dim, we drove up the dirt road to the main road leaving the bears to continue hunting for a meal.  So, I got to see the bears.  I was a very spoiled little boy.

MARISSA THE TOAD PICKS ON A FAT BEAR

Marissa was a vain and thoughtless young toad,
She was covered with warts as per toad dress code, 
Marissa told a bear he was too fat,
So, he pooped on the toad brat,
Which made Marissa's pretty warts all erode.