SCRAPE FROM THE CAPE

I had for my lunch a big plate of fresh scrape,

I found the scrape on the highway down by the cape,

I should have ate at the bar,

The scrape tasted of twigs, leaves, and, tar,

But, maybe I poisoned within me the worm they call tape.

PROGNOSIS GRIM TREE TRIMMER

I climbed up into a tree that needed a trim,

It would have been fine if I had been slim

But, so frail was the tree, 

It fell over on me,

The doc said my prognosis was grim.😳

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FOOD, RENT, FREEZE: CAPITALIZM ON MY KNEES

The high prices for groceries is appalling,🧀🍖🍗🍅🍻🍩🍕

I need those prices to start falling,📉

From email I hear voices,📬💻📲

Demanding I make choices,🎰🎲🃏

With bills and rent I just can't keep on stalling.🚽⏳

ENCOUNTER WITH THE UNDERWARE BEAR

I caught a great big bear,🐻

Trying on my underware,👙

Usually, I would not care,🖖

But, his big bottom made a tear,〰〽〰

I'll have to buy me a new pair.🍐

I PICK THE UNIVERSE OF THE YOUNG

Another universe I found this day,

Where all are young and young they'll stay,

I've become a resident of that ageless verse,

And, I've said goodbye to the age-death curse,

I know many think it morally wrong,

They celebrate lifes end with a teary song,

They may etch our symbols on some stones,

Then, let us rot or burn our bones,

For many can't admit the obvious truth,

That being old ain't as good as having youth,

Call me crazy, call me sick,

But, eternal youth is what I pick,

THE VERY HAPPIEST CHUMS

Many people now days don't want to learn,🎓

They don't see how learning can help them to earn,💰

They're the very happiest chums,🗿🚬🚽

If they can read a bit and do sums,🔰➕

And, have wood in their woodstove to burn.🔥

THEY FOUGHT, THEIR FRIENDS AND I'M OUT

My kitty and rabbit  got into a big fight,🐈🐇

My rabbit bested kitty but the rabbit got a bite,😿

As oft these fights end,💐

They play nice friend with friend,💘

I'm the odd-out while they've become tight.😒

ME NEW PET LIVES IN THE WOODS

Such happy days I had with me dog, pet,

When she passed, thought I, another I'd get,

I could afford only a squirrel,

I called his name Earl,

He still lives in the woods where we met.

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WHAT THE LANDLORD SAID

The landlord said I must pay to stay,

Or, I should have to move away,

But, if I'm not mistaken,

My rent dollars were taken,

By the casino on Grand Traverse Bay.

I BATHED IN THE POOL

I broke a community rule,🙀

When I took my bath in the pool,👎

I soaped up with a sponge,🚦

Washed it off with a plunge,💦

People said I was clean but not cool.🏊

WHEN THE VIRUS INFECTS THE CAT THEN, NINE LIVES JUST AIN'T ALL THAT

There was a virus going around and I didn't care,😽

I'm a cat and have nine lives to spare,😺

Then, the virus I got,🙀

And, nine lives I had not,😿

I was cremated so, well I didn't fare.😾

WHY I WEAR AN EYE PATCH

I had no extra eyes to spare,🙈

So, I went to a doctor to fix my eye tear,👣👁

The doc sewed my eye up tight,✂〰

Asked if I'd been in a fight,🌪🌪

I said, "No, I room with a lion and bear."🦁 🐻

EATING FROASTED DOUGHNUTS LEADS TO A BIG PROBLEM IN LATE SPRING

I trusted in my frosted doughnuts to keep me very slim,🍩

But, my waist has grown much larger and, I workout at the gym,🏋

Maybe water sports will be the thing,🤽🏄

To bring my weight down yet this spring,🏊🚣

But, my chance of wearing my old swimsuit is looking very dim.😒

SNAKE, LEAVE THAT TOAD ALONE

There was a small toad in my garden of clay,🐸🍄

He was chewing on bugs as he went on his way,🐞

Then, along came a vicious snake,🐍

That I chased away with my rake,👩‍🌾👉

The toad thanked me and bid me good day.🌄

I GOT ME SOME PUDDING: HOW ABOUT YOU?

I went protesting down the street,👣🗽

I didn't go far until I got beat,🌟🌟🌟

A baton in my face,😁🚔🚓

Put me in my place,🚑🏥

Now, hospital pudding is my treat.🍚

WHAT TO DO ABOUT MY HAIRCUT AND THE NEWS

There is so much going on in the news,☣☢💉📉🔥🌪🚀🗽💀👹

What to watch is so hard to choose,📺

With no haircut I'm hairy,👦💈

Like the news I look scary,👿

But, I've got yeast and can make lots of booze.😜🍸🍷🍹🍺

MY IDENTIFY CRISIS

I don't know a widget from an app,

I don't know a folk song from a rap,

I don't know soft spoken from a yell,

How are things different? I can't tell,

The only thing I know for sure is I'd like to take a nap.

THE STONE CHARM OF HARM

I found in my driveway a little stone charm,

I put it around my neck, didn't think it would harm,

But, the next crazy day,

I had nothing to say,

I was missing my mouth and good arm.

BUNKER ME DOWN

With all the troubles in every town,

I think that I will dig on down,

I'll build a bunker,

There I'll hunker,

And, movie binge in my nightgown.

WONDROUS HUMANS

Humans are such wondrous things,

One of them paints while another one sings,

One makes love another, war,

One keeps the dart game score,

One grows food, another sells cheap rings.