The Bacon Grease Murder

I fried my pancakes the best I canned,

In bacon grease I watched them expand,

I feed my guy lots of grease,

Though, it clogs his ticker piece,

But, life insurance I understand.

I WENT TO LONDON TO COOK FOR THE QUEEN

I went to London to cook for the queen,
She liked my firm grits and my crawdads were clean,
And, she said my rock bass,
Added a real touch of class,
Yet, my root-crops looked a trifle obscene.

I WON'T UPSET THE PET BY WHAT I EAT

For my little goldfishy's sake,

I forgo eating all tuna stake,

He's comforted to see,

No fish ate by me,

He can't see the salmon in my bake.

I MADE CORNMEAL BISCUITS LIMERICK

I made some biscuits with cornmeal,
I used half the cornmeal so, what's the deal,
But, my family said "NO!,"
My biscuits had to go,
Thus, my baked goods have little appeal.