THEY DIPPED SOME CHIPS IN MY BRAINS

The judge said I was criminally, completely insane,

He ordered AI chips to be stapled into my brain,

I did not feel anything,

Til my ears started to ring,

Then my eyeballs popped out, causing pain.

MY MANGLED MANDOLIN MADE MILLIONS

My mandolin got mangled when it fell out the back of my pickup truck,
And, although I didn't feel lucky the driver behind me had worse luck,
But, it's hard for me to grieve,
For that driver, I'll call Steve,
He suffered only mild injuries and won ten million plus one buck.

EMBEZZLEMENT SHOT THE SHERIFF JOB DOWN

I'm running for sheriff and I think I already lost,

I got arrested seven times and I'm sure that'll cost,

As an accountant I get no thanks,

I've been embezzling banks,

My trial starts in spring and will end before last frost.