SHELIA THE COW HAD GAS

Shelia was a big white cow,
She ate up all the grass,
But, when at night she did lie down,
She passed enormous gas.

WHEN THE GARDEN FROST COMES TOO SOON

When the garden frost comes too soon,
A dirge for my plants is my tune,
If I would harvest too early,
My food would taste squirely,
A jeer to the cold harvest moon.

I tarried at a terrible cost,
My entire garden got the frost,
Dead plants are pepper and bean,
The squash don't look too keen,
The tomatoes will have to be tossed.

MY SAVIOR IS A TWO BY FOUR

My savior is a two by for,
I keep right beside my door,
When a creep comes my way,
I wish him a good day,
If he attacks I give him what for.

A PIG NAMED MORTIE

There was a very big pig named Mortie,
He was depressed because he turned forty,
He ate cottage cheese and cheddar,
The cheese made Mortie feel better,
But, the cheese made his skin all warty.

Mortie was an unhappy pig,
His head was small and his belly big,
He tried to loose weight,
But, fat was his fate,
So, he made his head large with a wig.