MY GIRLFRIEND JANE

My girlfriend Jane was near sighted,
After glasses her eyesight was righted,
She took one look at me,
She said set me free,
For my love was now unrequited.

I BOUGHT A TOYOTA CAR

I bought a Toyota Car,
I thought I would really go far,
I slammed on the brakes,
Found out they were fakes,
They scraped me up off of the tar.

THERE ONCE WAS A GIRL NAMED TAYLOR

There once was a girl named Taylor,

She went to college at Baylor,

But, when she went home,

It was too cold in Nome,

So then she ran off with a sailor.

THERE WAS A GREAT BIG FELLA-Limerick

There was a big farmer fella,
He married a gal named Stella,
They found a home with some charm,
They began a mushroom farm,
Raising mushrooms called portabella.

There once was a great big fella,
He married a gal named Ella,
But, he was already wed,
Ella chopped off his head,
The other widow's name is Stella.

THERE WAS A SQUIRREL THAT LIKED HIS NUTS-Limerick

There was a squirrel that liked his nuts,
He buried them in holes and ruts,
The squirrel was slow,
So when there was snow,
He starved because he was a putz.