JAIL FOOD, YUCK! BAR FOOD, YUMMY!

Thank goodness my dear, old auntie has posted my bail,

Spent yesterday and today, eating meals in the jail,

Yesterday, it was potatoes,

Today it was red tomatoes,

I'll now park on a barstool, and consume only ale.  

WILLIE AND HIS ICE CREAM

Willie went to jail in Midland for his insurance fraud scheme,

All they would feed him in jail was bowls of vanilla ice cream,

Willie got so very wide,

They had to jail him outside,

In order to bathe poor Willie, they made him jump in a stream.