I SHOT MY SLINGSHOT STRAIGHT UP INTO THE AIR

I shot my slingshot straight up into the air,
My shot went way, way, way, way, way, way up there,
The shot fell from up there so far,
Through the windshield of my car,
Now, my slingshot has brought me despair.

IGNORING ONLINE VERBAL MEANIES LIMERICK

So many people are bitter,

When they make pronouncements on twitter,

But, Rose tweets all day long,

And, relies on her bong,  

To ignore the verbal meanies who hit her.

A RARE-BOURBON OR A BUCK AND A QUARTER FOR BEER

Passionate Pete Porter
Was a rare-bourbon snorter,
But, one day he tried beer,
Then, his new passion was clear,
And, each glass cost just a buck and a quarter.

MOLLY MELANCHOLY FOUND A CAREER

Molly was so melancholy,
She went to funerals to feel jolly,
And, at the service where others would mourn,
She'd crack a soda and eat popcorn,

While other girls at night would roam,
Molly spent her nights at the funeral home,
Molly so much loved the death tradition,
Molly studied and became the town mortician.

MY LIFE NEXT TO A CHEMICAL PLANT

The well water from my tap looks really funny,
It's brown and gooey and not very runny,
Now, it might be caused by the chemical plant next door,
And, what they were dumping the night before,

But, at least it's easier to breathe the air,
For what they dumped on the ground was not burned in their care,
And, at least in part it was answered; my healthy environment prayer,
 For only in part do I have a toxic chemical scare.