MY SAX HAS COST ME $75,000, AND WARM AIR

My online heating statement is ready, but my bank account is closed,

Each way I look at it, my monthly finances are totally hosed,

To buy my saxophone,

I took out a big loan,

Back in 2003, I didn't know the danger, my credit card imposed.

PEOPLE WHO DON'T USE TOILET PAPER, GET THEIR OWN OFFICE

Jumbo couldn't find the toilet paper, so he went back to bed,

He figured if a day starts nasty, the day was full of dread,

At noon, Jumbo got a call,

From his workmate, named Paul,

It seems, Jumbo the great slacker, was made the department head.