A BAD MAN WITH BAD TEETH

I ate holiday candy until I was shaking,
Now, my bad teeth are constantly aching,
I know my judgment was real poor,
But, why should my mouth be so soar?

No wicked things have I ever done,
Except those things that were for fun,
I hid grandma’s dentures and teased the cat,
I put peanut butter on my brother’s bat,

I threw dad’s keys in the swimming pool,
So that day I couldn’t go to school,
I ate mom’s cookie dough when she turned away,
So, there were no cookies at church that day,

I sort of remember a girl on a swing,
I pushed her so hard she slammed into something,
And then, there was my very best friend named Stan,
He tripped into a puddle as by me he ran,

Then, there was my cousin in a canoe,
I toppled him over; he got black and blue,
Then, there was my dog, who liked to fetch sticks,
Throwing the stick over the fence was one of my tricks,

I guess some of the things I did were not nice,
But, I should be forgiven; I did few of them twice,
I did most bad things without a thought in my brain,
So, why am I racked with unending tooth pain?

.

JERRY NEEDS SOME TEETH

Jerry lost all of his front teeth,
While playing on his trumpet,
Because each time Jerry tried to play,
The tuba guy would bump it,

Jerry lost his other teeth,
Because he ate so much candy,
Now he can't bite or chew his food,
He just swallows it with brandy,

Jerry really needs some teeth,
Because teeth are for more than play,
You never know when you might need them,
To scare the bears away.