WOE TO THE PROTECTOR OF SHRUBBERY

I got some chicken wire,

To protect my little shrub,

For there is this rabbit,

Who sees my shrub as grub,

Then I waited with a pail,

For the rabbit I would assail,

And I'd catch him nose to tail,

Then I'd have rabbit stew and ale,

But the rabbit never showed,

To another shrub, he goed,

Then he moved into my abode,

Locked me out, so then I woed. 

MY BEST FRIEND PARANOIA

Paranoia is my best friend,
It protects me from dangers that lie around every bend,
For round each bend I just know,
The boogeyman's planing me woe,
My friend says "run away to defend."