TINKLE, TINKLE LITTLE MOUSE

I think that I will quit wearing my hat,

Because, that's where the mice keep leaving their scat,

But, there is just a wrinkle,

For, my cat loves to tinkle,

And, I've taught him where the mouse beds are at. 

I TOOK A WRONG TRAIL AND ENDED UP WITH A WHALE

I took a walk in the forest but, took the wrong trail, 

Then, I heard something howl then swished it's big tail,

I looked toward a giant dead stump,

Then, my heart started to pump,

As I gazed at a killer land whale.

I WENT TO LAREDO FOR SOUP

I went to Laredo to find me some soup,

I heard they had cows that were deep in their scoop,

For I seek fertilizer,

I like the wet stuff cause I'm wiser,

For moisture's real scarce to mix with dry poop. 

THE COLORS OF TEETH AND BACK

If your teeth are green and black,

Keep your mouth shut to avoid attack,

From those having teeth whitey white,

Who brush for a  cavity fight,

But, have green hair from scalp to back. 

MY UMBRELLA SAILED BEFORE IT RAINED, SNOWED AND THEN HAILED

My umbrella failed,

When a tornado came along my umb sailed,

Not wanting to up-flow,

I let my umb go,

Then it rained, then snowed and then hailed.   

THE SPILL AND THE MINCE MEAT PIE FLY

I spilled tomato juice on my mince meat pie,

It dis-flavored the mince meat and I thought I would die,

And, my mince meat pie ala mode,

Tasted like feet of dead toad,

So, to the trash my pie took a fly.

THE BEARER OF THE JAGGED STEAK KNIFE

My steak knives are so incredibly dull,

The fat on my steaks my knives will not cull,

 My steaks tremble with terror,

For I'm the jagged knife bearer,

My knives give steaks something they can all mull.

PILLOWS AND FOR WHOM THE CLOCK TICKS

Sometimes pillows are way to soft,

Sometimes they are hard as a rock,

Sometimes pillows slip off the bed in my loft,

While all night I count the ticks of the clock,

IS TRAVERSE CITY SANTA'S SUMMER RETREAT?

The jurors are out they say,

As to where Santa summers his sleigh,

I think it's a pity,

If it's not Traverse City,

Where he could have a beautiful view of the bay.

JIM'S TAPEWORM AND SKINNY TRANSFORMER BRAG

No one ate nearly as much as Big Jim,

In his gut a tapeworm was taking  a swim,

And, Big Jim got so skinny,

Shopped cloths stores for the "mini,"

Jim bragged which just made him seem dim.

WAITING FOR MY TRICKLE-DOWN

I'm waiting for my trickle-down raise,

Although, my boss says a raise would be out of phase,

For long, long before,

I'll get pink-slipped out the door,

Because trickle-down signs the end of my days.

MY NECK OF THE WOODS

We don't have much fancy in my neck of the woods,

We don't have much money and ain't got many goods,

And, everything we find that will crawl,

We eat or hang on the wall,

And, use the skin for our hats and our hoods.

I BUILT MY HOUSE WITH BORROWED NAILS

I built my house with borrowed nails,

I must of borrowed pails and pails,

Now, some want their nails back,

That will leave me with some shack,

And, it'll fall over with hard rains and the gales.

BANKING, FRANKING, THE MARKETS AND ME

I lost my money in shadow banking,
While the markets rose my account was tanking,
Of course when the markets eroded,
My account  then imploded,
Now, I invest in collectible franking.

REVOLUTIONARY, NEW POLE BARN FLOOR

My pole barn had a brand new floor,

It was made of ice and nothing more,

It worked great most of the year,

But, when warm weather got here,

A tidal wave came out of the door.

A LINE IN THE SAND AND A BAD NOODLE TAN

I drew a line in the sand,

I did it with a stick in my hand,

I'm not sure what for?

Maybe I'm going to war,

I think my noodle got overly tanned. 

NEW BOOTS AND WORMS IN A CORNFIELD

In a cornfield I stood worried about what to eat,

When, my boots started sinking into a pile of corncrete,

I wretched I thought,

For those were new boots I had bought,

And, worms would surely eat through them to my feet.

THE EASTER BASKET BLUES

I got an Easter basket but, I do not have any shoes,

I can't use my basket for footwear because it did not come in twos,

My feet are too big to share,

And, my weight one basket won't bare,

I'll just wait until next Easter then, a second basket will bring good news. 

THE UNCLE JAY JAY RHYMES

My uncle Jay Jay,

Bleached his toupee,

Now his hair is all white,

Like his daddy Ray Ray,

My uncle Jay Jay,

Played his trumpet all day,

Then, went fishing at night,

Out on Grand Traverse Bay,

My uncle Jay Jay,

Once played in a band at night,

But, with the jazz flutist,

Had a fist fight,

My uncle Jay Jay,

Didn't like the sound of the flute,

For any woodwinds he did not give a hoot,

He said only a brass horn could give a good toot,

My uncle Jay Jay,

Left this world with the tide,

In the next world he's sitting all full of pride,

Making toot in a brass band of trumpets and slide.