AI MEANS COFFEE MAKER GOODBYE

I upgraded my coffee maker so it now has AI,

If the coffee tastes bad I can ask the coffee maker"why?"

Then, one sobering day,

My coffee maker ran away.

Moving in with another coffee drinker guy. 

TWO STRAWBERRIES WALKED INTO A BAR

Two strawberries walked into a bar for some rye,

A man with a bag of rhubarb gave them the eye,

The man then rolled out some dough,

The strawberries did not want to go,

But, they ended up in a strawberry-rhubarb pie.

THE FEBRUARY BRIGHT LIGHT

On the last day of February I saw something yellow and bright,

Then, a voice beyond the grave said, "walk into the light,"

 The voice I didn't know,

But, I was ready to go,

Then, I got hit by a car now, it's night.

TWO DEER WALKED INTO A BAR

Two deer walked into a bar,

They wondered who owned the red car,

It had run down their bud Jack,

The driver didn't even look back,

The deer carried feathers and tar.

I DREAM NO SNOW BUT, WHAT WILL I REAP?

I dream of long, long ago,

When I was not buried in all this snow,

When the sun gave off a warm, golden glow,

And, heating my home didn't take all my dough,

 I long for the world when the weather was better,

I cursed those hot days now, I'm a regretter,

Those days I did not wear sweater upon sweater,

And, worry my kitty may freeze because he's a bed wetter.

So it goes as I am freezing,

And, every breath I tend toward wheezing,

With a bronchial cough and sinus sneezing,

I greatly fear the grim reaper is teasing.  

AN ANGEL PLAYING IN THE SNOW

I thought I saw an angel out playing in the snow,

Alas, it was just a neighbor trying to get his blower to blow,

I'd loan him my snow shovel,

But, the snow caved in my hovel,

Now, everything I ever owned was drifted down below.

WINTER LEGEND OF THE SUN

People talk about a hot star called the sun,

It's just a legend told to children for fun,

For the gale winds full of snow,

Is all that we know,

Winter is our season; only one.

 

A VOLE IN THE HOLE

A little vole climbed into my ear hole and ate my brains like candy,

After the feast, that little beast relaxed with a fine glass of brandy,

As a brain lacking sinner,

I think only of dinner,

Although, for some reason all I eat seems quite sandy.

TIGHT PAIN

Poor old Mitchel lacked in brights,

That's why he wore too tight his tights,

Fed to his brain,

Was constant pain,

Worse than his gig playing knights.  

A BACKWOODS HELLO

In the backwoods the language of gunfire go,

If a bullet hits you it means one thing; a miss means hello,

Don't bother to run,

For every cos has a gun, 

And, while in their crosshairs you'll be moving too slow.

MY BANDCAMP DAYS WHEN I WAS 8 YEAR OLD

I went to band camp and got spanked on the rear,

It was because I didn't know Brahms'  birthday was near,

Then, I got a hot shower scaldi,

Because, I misinterpreted Vivaldi,

And, my Bach chamber music brought tear. 

THE FUTURIST

I don't think there is any truth hidden deep within a dream,

Nor do I think future signs ride through space on a sunbeam,

I don't believe in ghostly boards,

Nor seeking truth in wind blown chords,

Those who do the selling, divine a fortune from these schemes.