I PRAY FOR THE VOLE

There was a vole under the snow,

He ate the bark on my trees, the trees died and wouldn't grow,

I tried forgiving thoughts but, my thoughts at best,

Labeled the vole a nasty pest,

I do pray that the vole finds eternal rest.

I FROZE MY NOSE

I froze my nose,

Then, off it goes,

My new nose is steel,

No sunburn, no peal,

 I still snore when I doze.

WITH NO DEATH STICKS IN THE QUIVER, IT'S FAST DOWN THE RIVER

My bow has no quiver with death sticks to deliver,

I stand harmless in the snow with a shake and a shiver,

Along comes a buck with a large rack on his head,

It is all pointy points so, methinks I'll be dead,

The beast stabs at me in my kidney, heart and liver,

I step backwards and fall into the Manistee River,

Fast down the river my limp body works its way,

Until, it rests in a hole beneath wood, stones and clay.

THE IDES OF MARCH COME THIS WAY

The Ides Of March come this way,

With so many ex-wives I fear I am prey,

They have long memories, my wives,

 I fear their long knives,

For like Caesar, I'll become a fillet.

PLASTIC BEADS FOR MY NEEDS

I am an investor in plastic beads,

They are the savings for my future needs,

I know my investment is sound,

For they weigh up by the pound,

Soon, I can buy me a shop that sells meads. 

NINE WERE WOLVES AND TEN WERE PIGS

Nine were wolves and ten were pigs,

Nineteen souls dancing four-legged jigs,

The wolves made their call,

The pigs could only bawl,

The wolves finished the night eating pork stuffed figs.

 

A RIDE ON THE PRISE

I took a trip in a spacecraft called Private Enterprise,

The smallness of Earth really opened my eyes,

I then threw up my spaghetti,

Thought I saw a mama yeti,

And, I blacked out before I entered Earth's skies.

AI MEANS COFFEE MAKER GOODBYE

I upgraded my coffee maker so it now has AI,

If the coffee tastes bad I can ask the coffee maker"why?"

Then, one sobering day,

My coffee maker ran away.

Moving in with another coffee drinker guy. 

TWO STRAWBERRIES WALKED INTO A BAR

Two strawberries walked into a bar for some rye,

A man with a bag of rhubarb gave them the eye,

The man then rolled out some dough,

The strawberries did not want to go,

But, they ended up in a strawberry-rhubarb pie.

THE FEBRUARY BRIGHT LIGHT

On the last day of February I saw something yellow and bright,

Then, a voice beyond the grave said, "walk into the light,"

 The voice I didn't know,

But, I was ready to go,

Then, I got hit by a car now, it's night.

TWO DEER WALKED INTO A BAR

Two deer walked into a bar,

They wondered who owned the red car,

It had run down their bud Jack,

The driver didn't even look back,

The deer carried feathers and tar.

I DREAM NO SNOW BUT, WHAT WILL I REAP?

I dream of long, long ago,

When I was not buried in all this snow,

When the sun gave off a warm, golden glow,

And, heating my home didn't take all my dough,

 I long for the world when the weather was better,

I cursed those hot days now, I'm a regretter,

Those days I did not wear sweater upon sweater,

And, worry my kitty may freeze because he's a bed wetter.

So it goes as I am freezing,

And, every breath I tend toward wheezing,

With a bronchial cough and sinus sneezing,

I greatly fear the grim reaper is teasing.  

AN ANGEL PLAYING IN THE SNOW

I thought I saw an angel out playing in the snow,

Alas, it was just a neighbor trying to get his blower to blow,

I'd loan him my snow shovel,

But, the snow caved in my hovel,

Now, everything I ever owned was drifted down below.

WINTER LEGEND OF THE SUN

People talk about a hot star called the sun,

It's just a legend told to children for fun,

For the gale winds full of snow,

Is all that we know,

Winter is our season; only one.

 

A VOLE IN THE HOLE

A little vole climbed into my ear hole and ate my brains like candy,

After the feast, that little beast relaxed with a fine glass of brandy,

As a brain lacking sinner,

I think only of dinner,

Although, for some reason all I eat seems quite sandy.

TIGHT PAIN

Poor old Mitchel lacked in brights,

That's why he wore too tight his tights,

Fed to his brain,

Was constant pain,

Worse than his gig playing knights.  

A BACKWOODS HELLO

In the backwoods the language of gunfire go,

If a bullet hits you it means one thing; a miss means hello,

Don't bother to run,

For every cos has a gun, 

And, while in their crosshairs you'll be moving too slow.

MY BANDCAMP DAYS WHEN I WAS 8 YEAR OLD

I went to band camp and got spanked on the rear,

It was because I didn't know Brahms'  birthday was near,

Then, I got a hot shower scaldi,

Because, I misinterpreted Vivaldi,

And, my Bach chamber music brought tear. 

THE FUTURIST

I don't think there is any truth hidden deep within a dream,

Nor do I think future signs ride through space on a sunbeam,

I don't believe in ghostly boards,

Nor seeking truth in wind blown chords,

Those who do the selling, divine a fortune from these schemes.   

CHRISTMAS TOYS ARE ALL BROKE BUT, MY BIRTHDAY COMES NEXT

It's been only six days and I've broken up all my toys,

I guess I should not have been on Santa's list of good boys,

Now, my birthday comes next,

I've sent my wish list via text,

Reminding how my good virtues spread joys.