PHYLLIS HAD A PURPLE PONEY

My wife Phyllis had a purple pony,
It ate and ate all day,
It gave affections that were phony,
When She gave a cooing bray,

I did not like the purple pony,
I did not like her at all,
It ate well while we ate baloney,
And, it kicked down our best stall,

It cost so much to keep the purple pony beast,
We had no money on which to live,
We lived with famine while the monster had feast,
There was no more that I could give,

So, we mortgaged up the farm,
And, spent every cent we could earn,
Just to feed that awful pony,
She ate like we had money to burn,

Finally, I had had enough,
And left my wife and her purple mare,
I had lost my farm and all my stuff,
And, that purple pony did not care.

MY MOM HAD A PORCELAIN PIG

My mom had a porcelain pig,
I knocked it on the floor,
When it flew into a million pieces,
Mom through me out the door,

 I then wandered without a home,
My finances were broke,
 I tried to live at the Astrodome,
 The police sent me to the poke,

 I finally found a place to stay,
I was meant all along for jail,
Everyone finds their place someday,
If they cannot raise the bail. ,