THE GNOME LIMERICKS

Marcy was a real pretty horse,
A gnome ate her for his main course,
Then he ate my dog,
My cat and my frog,
Gnomes are such an evil force.

There was a little gnome named Klaus,
He kept gnawing on my old house,
He liked tasty paint,
With a bit of lead taint,
And, termites and the occasional mouse.

GNOMES STEAL MY PASTRIES AND DRINK MY BEER

Gnomes have been eating up my apple fritters,
They seem to be evil, pastry eating critters,
Gnomes, invade my home everyday,
Upon my sweet pastries they prey,
Then, they wash them down with my very best bitters.

BEWARE THE GNOMES

If you walk by a house with gnomes in the yard,
Then you'd better walk faster and be on your guard,
For gnomes have but one goal,
It is to steal your poor soul,
And, eat your flesh which they cook till it's chard.

GNOMES GET NO SYMPATHY FROM ME

I cannot get myself to write a poem,
That is sympathetic to a garden gnome,
Every gnome is so mean,
And, their cloths they don't clean,
After all day in the garden they roam.

GNOMES DO WHAT GNOMES DO

Gnomes are really little dudes,
They play around and have attitudes,
They trample my garden flat,
They torment my poor cat,
My other pets they see as tasty foods. 

I WON'T FORGIVE THAT GNOME

There was a pipe smoking gnome,
He carelessly burned down my home,
They say "live and let live,"
But, I can't forgive,
I'd like to bop him right on his dome.