COLOSEUS: THE GIANT FISH THAT WALKS ON LAND

Out on the island of Mackinaw,
The strangest beast appeared,
Some say it was a two legged fish,
All Mackinawians saw it as weird,

It came up from the cold depths of Lake Michigan,
It was on a stormy November Eve,
The fairies had closed down for the winter again,
But, there were caretakers who could not leave,

Caretakers watched from the apartments,
As the lightning danced round in the sky,
A creature walked from the lake with garments,
Of seaweed hanging from it's head to it's thigh,

It's mass was that of a fish called a carp,
But, it had legs on each side of it's tail,
It bared large teeth looking for food to scarp,
The creature was large and could eat a whale,

It was named Colossus, it's eyes fixed like stone,
It's hunger to eat seemed so intense indeed,
It's razor sharp teeth could saw through any bone,
It's number one issue was it had to feed,

The caretakers first watched and then trembled,
As the creature chased down an orange cat,
Then, the caretakers quickly assembled,
They decided to fight and no one would scat,

The creature seemed attracted to light,
As it made it's way up to the hotel on a hill,
It was moving toward the Grand Hotel sight,
Where it could dine upon it's favorite kill,

The caretakers had devised a devious plan,
It was simple but if it worked it was good,
They'd chase it off with the roar of a cannon,
The Mackinaw Island would be at peace as it should,

The old cannon had been there for 300 years,
It took pride blasting enemies in war,
It was old but, when fired brought about tears,
It's cannon balls likely settled the score,

So, two young caretakers ran behind the thing,
They ran toward the beach of the Michigan sea,
They yelled, hollered and taunted with a sing,
The monster saw them and he couldn't let them flee,

The two legged monster fish pursued with a thrust,
He knew he could catch them with a jump and a pounce,
If he landed on top the caretaker would bust,
But, catching and eating is all that counts,

When the caretakers came to the end of the beach,
They knew that real soon there would be a big boom,
They turned toward the monster hearing a screech,
Behind fish monster it sounded like doom,

The fish monster wailed as he felt the heat burn,
He geared up fast toward the lake without any turn,
Everyone said as the monster swam out of sight,
"Come back next year fish and we'll give you a fight".

MY GIRLFRIEND COULD NOT TAKE HER EYES OFF OF ME

Susie was my sweetheart,
She had big eyes of blue,
The only problem Susie had,
Was she had more eyes than two,

I always felt like I was being watched,
Embarrassed, my face turned red,
Susie watched every move I made,
With those eyes in the back of her head,

Susie had a nice personality,
And, her virtue was quite sound,
But, she complained about my every move,
Without even turning around,

Finally, I ditched Susie,
I decided though I hadn’t said,
My next girl will be a floozy,
With no eyes at all on her head.