THE EMPIRE CALLED ROME LIMERICK

There once was an empire called Rome,
It was far, Far East of our home,
It was an empire,
Then it caught on fire,
It melted like it was Styrofoam.

GENEVA AND THE BLUE JAY

A blue jay pecked at Geneva's head,
She swiped at him but, he had fled,
Geneva yelled at that jay,
Things no one should say,
So, back again he came to make a swoop,
He didn't peck her head but left some soup.

BE A WINNER AND GET SOME NOSE HAIRS LIMERICK

George was mad because he could not grow nose hair,
Unlike his wife and his friends his inner nose was just bare,
But, George’s brain got a blood rush,
So, George cut off the bristles of his tooth brush,
George’s nose is real picky but George does not care.

Be a winner and get some nose hairs,
They are pretty in gray or,  brown  or, black pairs,
Don't pull them out with your tweezers,
Let them grow in full like an old geezer's,
People will gawk wishing your nose hairs were theirs.

THERE WAS A SKUNK NAMED AMADEUS

Amadeus the skunk left a stink in the air,
Everyone hated it but, he did not care,
One day when he was alone,
Amadeus began to grown,
He longed for a friend that just was not there.

CHARLIE THE ANT

Charlie was a little ant,
He brought his queen ant sugar,
Once he made a big mistake,
And, brought his queen a bogger.

THE AUTUMNAL EQUINOX

The Autumnal Equinox,
Is it time to play with the clocks?
No, I guess we must wait,
For a new future date,
The confusion should be cursed with a pox.

I have a major motorcycle,
It’s called a Marley 101,
It does not really go any place,
It just looks like I’m having fun,

I have never gotten it even started,
I never heard its majestic engine purr,
But, after coming home late from the beer garden,
It’s sight is a beautiful though silent blur,

Someday soon I’ll be a humming,
Down the street on my Marley 101,
Then the jealousy of other guys,
Will make a backdrop as the girls come.

SEPTEMBER IDES LIMERICK

The Ides of September are here,
This brings us something to fear,
Our gardens grow old,
The wind brings the cold,
The frost makes our nose runny clear.

VETERANS DAY

Today we honor our military vets,
As we have our homes, cars and TV sets,
For their sacrifice we all have a better life,
Without the tyranny and strife,
As our children wait to be passengers to mars,
They are  resting on our hero’s shoulders,
For in protecting the stripes and stars,
We will one day visit those distant boulders.

I FELT SOMETHING SQUISHY BETWEEN MY TOES LIMERICK

Something squished between my toes,
And, then a scent rose up my nose,
The dog from next door,
Soiled on my deck floor,
What’s more, I couldn’t find my hose.

THE LIGHT SABER NAMED LARRY

There was a light saber named Larry,
He married a phase blaster named Sherry,
When they had a son,
He was the top gun,
He had a blast and a great lazar parry.