THE CORN ROAST LIMERICK

Moose Gillies would brag and would boast,
About his annual summer corn roast,
But, this year he got bent,
When in the fire the corn went,
And, was burnt blacker than his wife's turkey breast roast.  

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THE SPACE LASAR GOT ME GOOD

There is this glowing space laser, some call it the sun,

It aims straight down on me, like some Martian ray gun,

It's not at all funny,

Getting zapped by the sunny

I feel cooked like a turkey, dry and crispy done.

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THE BUGS THAT ATE SAMMY FOR S'MORES

Sammy went to the beach and got covered with soars,

The bugs liked him so much, because he tasted like s'mores,

From New Years Eve till that date,

S'mores was all Sammy ate,

And, the taste sweat out through all his pores.

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TOILETS FOR THE BEASTS WITH SCALES

Way down at the very bottom of the great blue bay,

The fish installed some potties, to send their poop away,

It's good for fishes, and me, and you,

It makes the bay a shiny, true blue,

Best of all, the rich tourist are prolonging their stay.

THE WATER SHOTS

I brought with me camping, two plastic, water guns,

One was for critter hunting, one was for picnic funs,

I took the hunter to the lake,

Where I face splashed a big, blue snake

I shot the picnic eaters, and wet their toasty buns.

NO ONE COULD SEE HIS SPEEDO

A hairy bear named Terry, wore his new, sparkling Speedo to the beach,

Nobody saw Terry's Speedo, because bear hair covered the Speedo breach,

Terry cried many tears, so sad,

Terry went home, and told his dad,

Terry's dad said bears can't wear cute human clothes; a lesson, hard to teach.

SUMMERTIME: KNOCKS, ROCKS AND LOCKS

I went to Suite Ste. Marie to play around the locks,

As ships pulled into the locks, I dropped on them small rocks,

The police came for me,

I struggled to be free,

But, they calmed my body down, with head locks and head knocks.

THE SAILBOAT GOAT

My friend, had a big, pretty yellow, sailboat,

It was pretty new, because it still could float,

We sailed one day,

Up to Saginaw Bay,

That's where my friend bought a boat mascot, a goat.

I INCUBATE THE EGGS, FOR THOSE THAT HAVE BUG LEGS

It was mid-July, and the horizon star drowned, and bugs came out to deep bite,

They started biting my toes, and ended in my hair; that is my entire height, 

I bathed in a bug killer spray,

The carnivores stayed, anyway, 

The bugs kept chewing, deep into my skin; they laid their eggs, and no, I'm not right.

I DON'T REPAIR DUMPS; I BUILD CASTLES

I gathered up my jumpy dog, and locked down my crumbling hovel,

We walked down to the sandy beach, with my toy plastic pail and shovel,

Built a tall castle on the beach,

Stacked sand as high as I could reach,

My dog knocked the castle down; for his dinner, he had to grovel.

I MISSED THE PARADE, BUT I WATCHED MY KITTY PEE

I was going to a parade, then it started to rain,

I did not want to experience a lightning strike, pain,

Through the window, I watched the river,

Gave some fresh beer to my old liver,

I' watched my cat all day, he used his litter box, to drain.

INFESTATION 2025

There were spider mites on his roses, and ants in his peonies,

There were squirming worms in his cabbage, and his cat and dog had fleas,

And, cockroaches in the house,

Tiny, red beetles, on his spouse,

There was even a touch of mange, on daughter Trina's big, pet bees..

PICNIC 2025

I went and caught some grayling, and I fixed them with a some pinto beans,

I would have flavored them with steak sauce, but for the price, I have no means,

I then, ate some runny s'mores,

Then washed out my facial pores, 

After all that, I pulled off my shirt, and changed out of my skinny jeans.

BOATS, BEES AND SLEEP

I was on some wicked water skies,

When attacked by vicious honey bees,

The bees attacked my pale, naked knees,

The poison made my leg muscles freeze,

I got to the beach, and caught some Z's.

FANCY DRESS AND FIX YOUR HAIR, BUT DO NOT EAT THE PIGS

I am very afraid, and hiding out, down deep in my digs,

It's the end of summer, and people are all roasting us pigs,

We kindly pigs are forsaken,

So, I'm protecting my bacon,

Soon, busy people will fancy dress,  and saloon their nice wigs.

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4TH OF JULY AT THE LAKE

At the lake, Roger was roasting a pig to eat,

So I went to the lake for sweet piggy meat,

There played a two trumpet band,

As rockets launched from land,

A lake 4th Of July can't be beat.

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PLANNING FOR BACON AND FRIENDS

I went outside and saw the great blue sky,

I watched my neighbor's, big, fat piggies fly, 

I hoped one would crash,

Then its body I'd stash,

And have a neighborhood, thick bacon fry.

BROKEN SKI AND CHEEKS

Jim's jet ski crashed on a rock, by the shore,

His jet ski, he can ride it, never more,

It's messy, it's bad,

Terminated, sad,

Jim's lower checks are injured, very sore. 

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MY HAMBURGER SHOULD MAKE ANIMAL SOUNDS

Outdoor grilled hamburgers should be almost, living tissue,

Always, when they are over grilled, that becomes an issue,

Just give a flip and a flop,

Grill marks, both bottom and top,

If you overcook my burger, bad things I will wish you.

The Three Siblings Went To Camp

The three siblings went off to big tented church camp,

The only adult they liked, was a loitering tramp,

The Tramp lived by the lake,

And, fresh fish he would take,

He slept on beach grass, because the beach sand was too damp.