I SNAG A LOT

I went fishing in a river, and all I caught were snags,

So, when I went home with my buddy, he had the big brags,

He caught ten fish, all keepers,

Using lures he called "creepers",

I helped him clean his fish, and seal them in quart freezer bags.

I WHACKED MY FISH, AND FRIED THEM UP LIKE MAMA DID

I use to fish with a cane pole, and whacked the fish in the head, real fast,

I scooped them up quick, into my net, because their concussion wouldn't last,

I whacked them again, in the head,

I made sure they were pretty dead,

The fillets, I fried in bacon grease; just like mama did in the past.

HARVEST OF THE DEEP WITH ME

Today I was taken directly to jail,

For possessing too many frogs in my pail,

I won't be back on the bay,

Until, next Saturday,

Then I will go diving for crawdads and snail.

MATH AND TUNA

I always knew, that the intelligence of my math teacher, was not real,

Teacher waddles all around the class, and barks and smells, like an ocean seal,

Some kids say, "just let him be",

I say, " take him out to sea",

That way he can bark and swim all day, and eat a big tuna for his meal.

THE LION AND THE BEAR, GAVE THIS FISHERMAN A SCARE

I walked to the other side of the lake, and a lion was there,

He started eyeing me real good, as did his buddy, the big bear,

I took my walk, to catch a big fish,

I cast out my line, and hooked my wish,

I tossed my fish between the two beasts, and ran home, like a scarred hare.

CAMPING WITH ADJUSTMENTS

I stuck up my tent cabin, in a forest, near a beaver damed,  lake,

I figured for my late night suppers, fish from the cold lake, I could take,

I could side dish, some beans and rice,

I'll add some pepper, for a spice,

Alas, no fish did I take, so I had a rice beans, and bacon bake.

PICNIC 2025

I went and caught some grayling, and I fixed them with a some pinto beans,

I would have flavored them with steak sauce, but for the price, I have no means,

I then, ate some runny s'mores,

Then washed out my facial pores, 

After all that, I pulled off my shirt, and changed out of my skinny jeans.

TRINA WENT BASS FISHING, WITH A WORM

Trina went trolling out on a flat lake, with a big plastic worm,

She kept her worm lure close to the boat, to watch the plastic worm squirm,

Trina made only one pass,

When her worm was attacked by a bass,

Trina was so surprised, she fell overboard, and ruined her perm.

I DULLED MY HOOK ON A SALMON, AND THE CRAPPIE GOT AWAY

I lost another crappie fish, off my hook,

It was a sneaky fish, and my worm he took,

My rusty, old hook, ain't very sharp,

Because I used it, fishing for carp,

When I hooked a salmon, a great big Chinook.

THE BEER GARDEN TROUT BLUES

Every time I catch a trout, it is too dinky, so I throw it back,

I want to catch a large keeper, so I can give its head a big rock whack,

My big eyes shed tavern tears,

While nursing my bar tab beers,

I wish I could have fish to fry, once I track home to my shack.

ME AND MY TWIN AND THE BOAT

Although our summer boat was small, and made with tin,

It was the fishing vessel of myself, and twin,

We'd row on the lake,

To hook a fish steak,

Mostly, we got a severe sunburn on our skin.

FRESH FISH STEW FROM THE LAKE OF BLUE

The little creature floating in my stew,

I caught in the lake that was colored blue,

I bopped his head, so he would not come to,

If he did, this day he would come to rue,

He smelled like a fish, and tasted like poo.

I PITIED MY MEAL.TO THE FREEZER

I felt great pity for the salmon I caught from the sea,

I cried when his sad eyes were begging to send him home, free,

I scraped off his scales, 

Pulled out his entrails,

I made fillets for the freezer, for my mama and me.

PAPPY THE PIG AND PINKER

I have a nice pink colored pet pig, named Pinker,

He fishes with a cane pole, bobber and sinker,

Just like his dear, old pappy,

Pinker likes to catch crappie, 

Like pappy, Pinker is a soda pop drinker.

THE APPLESAUCE FROG BAIT

I opened a can of applesauce, and found a little frog,

The frog was cooked and mummified, sitting in a saucy bog,

I did not at all hesitate,

Picked out the frog to use for bait,

He caught me a fine sunfish, hiding beneath a hemlock log.

CATCH AND EAT, EVENTUALLY

Pete proudly canned his fresh salmon, and put all of the cans, away,

So, he could eat salmon, when the ice and snow covered the old quay,

Old Pete once had a boat,

It will no longer float,

Pete left the boat in last winter; it's at the bottom of the bay.

LIVING TIN BOAT LIGHTNING STORM HORROR

All wide eyed, I just had to sit and wonder, 

Just as the skies lit up, and then came thunder,

Boom, Boom, Boom, Boom, Boom

The echoes of doom,

Sitting in a tin boat, was that a blunder?

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TALE OF THE PRO-FISHERMAN

I bought me some crawlers, so I could catch trout,

There's big ones out there, in the streams all about,

See, I write a love story,

As I story my glory,

A love for my fish-craft, and my wins I tout.

WHAT I MADE IN POTTERY CLASS

I took a pottery class,

And, potted a 4 lb rock bass,

I glazed him dark green,

And, his glass eyes looked real mean,

If he sells I'll make more fish in mass.

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THE PERCH THAT BEGGED HAD NO LEGS

The big perch I caught last night, had a big yellow belly,

His lips, tight as wires, and he was awfully smelly,

The perch begged and said, "Please, Please, Please,

If I had legs, I'd be on my knees,

Let me go and your kindness, I'll broadcast like a telly."

Epilogue

Fish tastes so good with lemon, and a dusting of white pepper and sea salt.