BEARS LIKE THE FLAVOR OF LOLLIPOPS: WHO KNEW?

I climbed up a steep hill to see what was on top,

All that was there was a big bear, singing hip hop,

He stopped singing when he saw me,

Asked me if I could ever be,

Tasty like  pork chops, flavored with a lollipop. 

THE RIVER BATTLE FOR STEEL

Fishing steelhead on the river, right at the cusp of the winter-spring,

There's snow on the ground and that river sound, attractive, that is the thing, 

To battle the big fish,

A true sportsman's big wish,

No matter how the battle goes, it's about the fight the steelhead brings.

MARSUPIAL STEW

I went and scraped marsupials off the road today,

I had to really scrape them, cause they had dried up in the clay,

Consider yourself a winner,

Cause we're having them for dinner,

I know it does not smell so good, but it keeps the bears away.

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THE THREE LITTLE CUB BEARS

During the winter storm, three little bears got lost in the woods,

When they broke into my cabin, and ate all my pantry goods,

When I went to my cabin, next day,

The three little cub bears were at play,

Mamma bear moved in, so I left the bears in charge of my hoods.

THE FLORAL REINCARNATION STORY

I use to be a pretty pansy, and a cute daisy, too,

I use to be an iris, and my big, fat flower was blue,

Each year I'm a different seed,

Sometimes, I'm pulled up as a weed,

Once I grew into a primrose, and bathed in the morning dew.

NEVER COMFORT A HURT GATOR

I stopped my pickup to see about giving a gator, aid,

He was gimping down the highway, near the old pinball arcade,

I asked him, "you're dragging your foot,

Did y'all catch it on a root?

The gator gobbled me down; that's how my kindness was repaid.

THE DANGERS OF A TRICYCLE

Ned fell off his adult tricycle, and he hurt his big knee,

Ned went to the adult hospital, and paid an adult fee,

Ned took out a small home loan,

Over his brand new iPhone,

Ned fell asleep triking back home, and he ran into a tree.

OUR AFTER CHRISTMAS SLEIGH RIDE

I got a kite for Christmas, and I flew it behind a two horse sleigh,

Every time the kite got really high, the bright sun would say, "good day",

Pop drove the sleigh into the big city,

So mom could buy makeup, to look pretty,

I waved at many real cute girls, but they would always look away.

THE BLOWER WITH THE CLOGGED CHUTE

The chute on my brand new snowblower was not shooting any snow,

That was in spite of my snowblower having a good grinding blow,

Ice was caught in the chute,

And, with a kick of my boot,

The chunk of ice cleared the blower, and crashed the car windshield, oh, woe.

THE BRAIN, YURT, RAIN LIMERICK

I went to the doctor because I was in such pain,

I was in so much pain, I broke a brain major vein,

It just hurt and it just hurt,

I took a nap in my yurt,

My yurt blew away, and down came snow, ice and rain.

GERTY GOT DIRTY, ONE SUMMER DAY

I went white water rafting, one sunny day,

The river was yucky with swirling red clay,

My little dog, named Gerty,

Got her face all dirty,

I washed her face off, once we got to the bay.

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A POINTLESS DAY RIVER FISHING

Donny went river fishing in his fibreglass canoe,

It had a couple of small leaks, because it was not new,

Donny didn't get bites that day,

He paddled down to the bay,

He did find a shinny stone, with a sparkle that was blue.

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THE GUESTS AT MY BED AND DINNER

It got so cold, I asked the rats to snuggle in,

In my creaky bed with the bedbugs, and my gin,

We were all warm and cozy,

While the outside got snowzy,

Next day, I ate the rats for my six o'clock din.

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I BUILT A CABIN IN A SWAMP

I built a cabin in a swamp,
So, I'd have a place to romp,
I love all the snakes and the bugs,
With them it's kisses and hugs,
But, on the lizards I like to stomp.

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TREASURE FOUND IN THE TENTER WOODS

The big leaves were soft and gentle; a toilet paper we got for free,

We bagged it up and sold each 5 lb. bag, for $29.93,

My family made money,

Our bleak lives became sunny,

We were a family of centers, who found vast riches that were free.

HARVEST OF THE DEEP WITH ME

Today I was taken directly to jail,

For possessing too many frogs in my pail,

I won't be back on the bay,

Until, next Saturday,

Then I will go diving for crawdads and snail.

WARNING: DANGEROUS PSYCO IS IN CHARGE OF THE FIREWORKS

What are my high tech skills? I put the fire in the works,

My position, does have several pretty, awesome  perks,

I turn a rocket at a crowd,

The rocket explodes, really loud,

The crowd will scream, and run away, while I laugh at those jerks.

FISHING ON LAKE DAN, WITH BIG WORMS

I traveled to the lake to fish, then I went digging in the ground,

I dug down deep, thirteen feet, and big, squirming worms is what I found,

I put them in a can,

Went fishing on Lake Dan,

I caught several fat sunfish, they were mostly, a perfect round.

THE LION AND THE BEAR, GAVE THIS FISHERMAN A SCARE

I walked to the other side of the lake, and a lion was there,

He started eyeing me real good, as did his buddy, the big bear,

I took my walk, to catch a big fish,

I cast out my line, and hooked my wish,

I tossed my fish between the two beasts, and ran home, like a scarred hare.

NO PAIN, NO STRAWBERRY GAIN

There was a big, silly gopher, named Terry,

He could not pass any red, ripe strawberry,

Terry would take a bite,

Which gave Terry delight,

But, being shot at by rock salt, was scary.