LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt

Moose Gillies would brag and would boast, About his annual summer corn roast, But, this year he got bent, When in the fire the corn went,...

There is this glowing space laser, some call it the sun, It aims straight down on me, like some Martian ray gun, It's not at all funny, ...

Sammy went to the beach and got covered with soars, The bugs liked him so much, because he tasted like s'mores, From New Years Eve t...

Way down at the very bottom of the great blue bay, The fish installed some potties, to send their poop away, It's good for fishes, and m...

I brought with me camping, two plastic, water guns, One was for critter hunting, one was for picnic funs, I took the hunter to the lake, Whe...

A hairy bear named Terry, wore his new, sparkling Speedo to the beach, Nobody saw Terry's Speedo, because bear hair covered the Speedo b...

I went to Suite Ste. Marie to play around the locks, As ships pulled into the locks, I dropped on them small rocks, The police came for me, ...

My friend, had a big, pretty yellow, sailboat, It was pretty new, because it still could float, We sailed one day, Up to Saginaw Bay, That...

It was mid-July, and the horizon star drowned, and bugs came out to deep bite, They started biting my toes, and ended in my hair; that is my...

I gathered up my jumpy dog, and locked down my crumbling hovel, We walked down to the sandy beach, with my toy plastic pail and shovel, Buil...

I was going to a parade, then it started to rain, I did not want to experience a lightning strike, pain, Through the window, I watched the r...

There were spider mites on his roses, and ants in his peonies, There were squirming worms in his cabbage, and his cat and dog had fleas, And...

I went and caught some grayling, and I fixed them with a some pinto beans, I would have flavored them with steak sauce, but for the price, I...

I was on some wicked water skies, When attacked by vicious honey bees, The bees attacked my pale, naked knees, The poison made my leg muscle...

I am very afraid, and hiding out, down deep in my digs, It's the end of summer, and people are all roasting us pigs, We kindly pigs are ...

At the lake, Roger was roasting a pig to eat, So I went to the lake for sweet piggy meat, There played a two trumpet band, As rockets launch...

I went outside and saw the great blue sky, I watched my neighbor's, big, fat piggies fly,  I hoped one would crash, Then its body I'...

Jim's jet ski crashed on a rock, by the shore, His jet ski, he can ride it, never more, It's messy, it's bad, Terminated, sad, J...

Outdoor grilled hamburgers should be almost, living tissue, Always, when they are over grilled, that becomes an issue, Just give a flip and ...

The three siblings went off to big tented church camp, The only adult they liked, was a loitering tramp, The Tramp lived by the lake, And, f...