DRAGON POOF REVENGE

There was a fire breathing dragon, and he was acting like a goof,

The dragon, was dancing down the center of my big red barns, tin roof,

The neighbors got their varmint guns,

And, shot the dragon in his buns,

The pained dragon, blew his blazing breath, and all the farms around went, "Poof!"

THE GUARDIAN OF THE FOREST FAIRIES, WANTS TO EAT FACE

Everybody says, I deserve the face eating, that I got,

Because, I did really stupid stuff, furthering an evil plot,

Didn't know those purloined cherries,

Were owned by forest fairies,

Their pet leopard ate my pretty face, leaving my dead body, to rot.

THE RECKONING: PORCH PIRATE SURPRISE

I laughed, as both my porch pirates, ran away,

With my package, they will not have a great day,

I thought it would be so cool,

To fill a box with dog stool,

Truly, good justice will be done, I do pray.

POGOSTICK BREAKER, BEWARE!🐀

Someone broke my pogostick, and J am hooting mad,😡

When I find out who did it, they will be so sad,😭

I'll tell them they smell like feet,👣

I'll tell them to watch the portions they eat,🍔🍟🌮🍕🌮🍠

If my torments hurt their feelings, my emojis will depict, glad.🤗😇😛

RECKONING FOR THE DOOR AND HEAD

When I get real sleepy, I lie down on the soft, carpet floor,

Hoping I don't get hit in the head, when someone opens the door,

My brother is a mean, door geek,

He booped me in the head, last week,

I let the dog pee on his bed, I think that evens the score.

I'M THE GREATEST OF ALL TIME, FISHES

Tammy let everyone know that she was a G.O.A.T

The greatest of all time, at sailing a sailing boat,

Her jealous brother, Doug,

Pulled her big, sailboat plug,

Tammy sank down to Poseidon, and that's all she wrote.

LORD OF THE GARBAGE TRUCKS

Seigneur De Mouches is my iconic known name,

Private garbage redistribution is my game,

If you don't pay your bill,

On your front yard we'll spill,

Then the great stink and the flies is how you'll find fame.

FEAST AROUND AND FIND OUT: THE IVY FUR BOOT STORY

I had beautiful ivy plants, growing by my old barn, 

I found my Ivy plants dead, one day, and I said, "oh, darn",  

Two groundhogs ate the tender roots,

Hogs feel good, in my fur lined boots,

Now I won't need to knit new socks, so I'll return the yarn. 

VOODOO REVENGE

I made a voodoo doll for the man on Sucker St.

He sold me a can of tainted, pickled piggy feet,

My family was up all night,

Getting toilet time was very tight,

I stuck six pins into my foe, in the bad guy's feet.

LEGS: ACCIDENT OR CRIME

This morning for breakfast, I was served toast, bacon and eggs,

I noticed in my eggs two sets of tiny chicken legs,

The sight made me so very ill,

I had to take a heartburn pill,

Was this leg scandal purposeful, is what the question begs?

RECKONING BY THE ELVES

My kitty likes to tear, rip and shred, elves into small parts,

So on Christmas Day,  we just get one wrapped box, full of farts,

Real bad it makes us feel,

It ruins our Christmas meal,

So we go to the store, and play race with shopping carts.

THE YEAR OF THE DRAGON

It's the Year Of The Dragon, and I have nowhere for him to sleep,

 If he stays within these, my walls, it will be in the castle keep,

What does he like to eat?

What's his favorite meat?

I have lot's of peasant villagers, that are calling me a creep.

MY BEAUTIFUL BLUE TEDDY BEAR

My beautiful blue teddy bear, he came to life,

He ran off with the next door neighbor's pretty wife,

It was really sad,

My Teddy did bad,

The neighbor ripped out Teddy's stuffing with a knife.

THE SHOVEL, PIGS AND OGRES LIMERICK

In the ogre village next door,

They are preparing for war,

I stole one of their pigs,

And, A shovel that digs,

Now they're coming to even the score.

MY SHOWER ROPE WAS EMPTY

Mason used up all the soap,

So, all I had was an empty rope,

So, I used up his shampoo,

Got even, true,

Now, he won't be telling ma, that I'm just a stupid dope.

THE CHIPMUNK AND THE NOSE RING

I lost my gold nose ring when it fell on the floor,

Stolen by a chipmunk, because I left open the door,

Chipmunks are such thieves,

They hide booty in my eaves,

I should steal their black walnuts, to even the score.

GRANDMA VS. DINOSAUR

The dumb dinosaur, he just went way too far,

When he ate up grandma's old Volkswagen car,

Grandma used her big straw broom,

It was the dinosaurs doom,

Now his bones decorate grandma's coffee bar.

I SHOULD HAVE KEPT MY MOUTH SHUT

I went to see the King of Pudding, and the King first had me jailed,

Because I did not like his puddings, the King next had me impaled, 

I appealed to his big boss,

She was the Queen of Mustard Sauce,

But before the Queen could act, all my internal organs failed.

THE THREE SIBLINGS: PUNISHMENT

The three siblings were bad, that is without any doubt,

Bader than head lice, food poisoning, rabies and gout,

They were not chicken,

They welcomed a lickin'

Then they'd threaten, stomp their feet, puff their lips out, and pout.

Tiger, Tiger brush your teeth

Tiger, tiger don't eat my kite,

Or I'll whoop you in a fight,

Make sure your teeth are sharp and white,

When they rip my flesh tonight,

Do it fast because time is tight,

Gotta catch the bus at dawn's first light.