LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt

There was a fire breathing dragon, and he was acting like a goof, The dragon, was dancing down the center of my big red barns, tin roof, The...

Everybody says, I deserve the face eating, that I got, Because, I did really stupid stuff, furthering an evil plot, Didn't know those pu...

I laughed, as both my porch pirates, ran away, With my package, they will not have a great day, I thought it would be so cool, To fill a box...

Someone broke my pogostick, and J am hooting mad,😡 When I find out who did it, they will be so sad,😭 I'll tell them they smell like fe...

When I get real sleepy, I lie down on the soft, carpet floor, Hoping I don't get hit in the head, when someone opens the door, My brothe...

Tammy let everyone know that she was a G.O.A.T The greatest of all time, at sailing a sailing boat, Her jealous brother, Doug, Pulled her bi...

Seigneur De Mouches is my iconic known name, Private garbage redistribution is my game, If you don't pay your bill, On your front yard w...

I had beautiful ivy plants, growing by my old barn,  I found my Ivy plants dead, one day, and I said, "oh, darn",   Two groundhogs...

I made a voodoo doll for the man on Sucker St. He sold me a can of tainted, pickled piggy feet, My family was up all night, Getting toilet t...

This morning for breakfast, I was served toast, bacon and eggs, I noticed in my eggs two sets of tiny chicken legs, The sight made me so ver...

My kitty likes to tear, rip and shred, elves into small parts, So on Christmas Day,  we just get one wrapped box, full of farts, Real bad it...

It's the Year Of The Dragon, and I have nowhere for him to sleep,  If he stays within these, my walls, it will be in the castle keep, Wh...

My beautiful blue teddy bear, he came to life, He ran off with the next door neighbor's pretty wife, It was really sad, My Teddy did bad...

In the ogre village next door, They are preparing for war, I stole one of their pigs, And, A shovel that digs, Now they're coming to eve...

Mason used up all the soap, So, all I had was an empty rope, So, I used up his shampoo, Got even, true, Now, he won't be telling ma, tha...

I lost my gold nose ring when it fell on the floor, Stolen by a chipmunk, because I left open the door, Chipmunks are such thieves, They hid...

The dumb dinosaur, he just went way too far, When he ate up grandma's old Volkswagen car, Grandma used her big straw broom, It was the d...

I went to see the King of Pudding, and the King first had me jailed, Because I did not like his puddings, the King next had me impaled,  I a...

The three siblings were bad, that is without any doubt, Bader than head lice, food poisoning, rabies and gout, They were not chicken, They w...

Tiger, tiger don't eat my kite, Or I'll whoop you in a fight, Make sure your teeth are sharp and white, When they rip my flesh tonig...