"MERRY CHRISTMAS", FROM SANTA CLAUS

I went begging for food at Santa's house, and Santa gave me a job,

He said I had to work to eat, and I should stop being a begging slob,

I had to clean out the reindeer stalls,

Much poop on the floor, more on the walls,

When I finished I asked Santa for food; he said, "eat the poop", oh, sob!

THE STING AND THE CURSE: A CHIPMUNK STORY

The little chipmunk drank milk from his bowl, while eating a berry,

Then along came buzzing around, a mean, old bumblebee fairy, 

The BBF gave chipmunk a sting,

He put a spell on cute chipmunk, Zing!

The little chipmunk became allergic, to fructose and dairy.

POGOSTICK BREAKER, BEWARE!🐀

Someone broke my pogostick, and J am hooting mad,😡

When I find out who did it, they will be so sad,😭

I'll tell them they smell like feet,👣

I'll tell them to watch the portions they eat,🍔🍟🌮🍕🌮🍠

If my torments hurt their feelings, my emojis will depict, glad.🤗😇😛

I LOST MY JOB IN AEROSPACE

My boss kicked me hard, down the unemployment path,

Because my employer required I do math,

But not too long out the door,

I got work moping a floor,

On weekends at the zoo, I scrub down the giraffe.

PIT AND THE GIT

Donny was a really mean, awful git,

Donny had a big bulldog, he called Pit,

Donny teased him with meat, 

But wouldn't let poor Pit eat,

Pit bit off Donny's buns, now he can't sit.

THE CARROT FARMER GOES NUTS

After creepy Mitch harvested all of his carrots,

He found no room in the house, for two squawking parrots,

Mitch left the parrots outside,

The parrots both froze and died,

Mitch dined on parrot pie, with his two silent ferrets.

THE THREE SIBLINGS RETURN

The three siblings were allowed back into the school,

They had been suspended, for breaking every rule,

Restricted to gym classes,

Forbidden, toilet passes,

They said mean things to teacher, and he cried like a fool.

BULLIES, EYEBALLS AND GOLD

I put an earring in my left ear,

It was gold, and financially dear,

But along came this Frankie,

He gave my earring a yankey,

The pain made my right eyeball tear.

SPACECRAFT DISASSEMBLY, AND A BABOON IS LOST IN SPACE🚀

My spaceship disassembled as I journeyed toward the moon,

They launched it in bad weather, and probably way too soon,

It rattled really bad, 

While still on the launch pad,

Humans won't feel bad for me, I'm just a creature called, Baboon. 

 

TOLD THE DINOSAUR STORY AND MY FACE IS SORRY

I was told that dinosaurs never existed,

I was told my brain was evil and twisted,

That was such bad news,

That I sang the blues,

For that my face got slapped, and thrice fisted.