LICK THE CHALKBOARD NICE AND CLEAN

People have no meat and people have no gruel,

Kids lick chalk off the blackboard, for lunch at school,

This is a real poor town,

Unless, you wear the crown,

You live in a mansion with an indoor pool.

YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN YOU'LL NEED A BEAVER GUN

I went out canoeing this morning, and ran into a big, beaver damn,

The beaver saw me and started hissing, I saw him, and thought, Easter ham,

I did not have my beaver gun,

So I wrestled him, just for fun,

Now, I'm in his lair, feeding his babies, and missing my fiance, Pam.

GOATS ON THE WATER ATTACK

My trailer was surrounded by mean, billy goats,

They came ashore at the lakefront, in motor boats,

I knew I couldn't win,

As they chewed the tin,

They ate the trailer, and stuff I stored in my totes.

SCRATCHING, AND JIMMY BLEEDS OUT

Jimmy thought the night was going real nice,

Then he got to itching on his head lice,

He scratched and bled,

By morn he was dead,

He was consumed by the cat, rats and mice.

RIP Jimmy RIP😢

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MY GATOR WANTED MY TURTLE

My pet gator had those food, lustful eyes,

When upon my pet turtle, he spies,

It was a sure fate,

That my turtle got ate,

He tasted good in my soup, surprise.

THE FOREST MONKEY FOX

There was a giant monkey fox sitting in the woods,

He was chewing on the bones of some Red Ridding Hoods,

And, boy those bones were good,

Best parts of any Red Ridding Hood,

But, Red Ridding eyeballs taste great in milk chocolate puds.

MY NUBS AND THE THREE BEARS

Along came two cutie bear cubs,

They were so cute I gave them intense belly rubs,

Then along came their maw,

She gave me her claw,

The three bears chewed me down to my nubs.