SPRING SOL AND THE BUG EGG KEEPER

Bugs have entered my long beard, and their winter eggs, they have laid,

The bugs know their eggs are safe, until Spring Sol contact is made,

I am the Bug Egg Keeper,

A super hero sleeper,

I guard the eggs with my life; don't expect to ever be paid.

MONSTERS WITH CLAWS

I use to have four giant, sharp claws,

They gave other clawed monsters, a big pause,

Opponents got rip shredded,

Disarmed, and then beheaded,

That kind of bleeding won't stop with just gauze.  

THE GRIZ AND THE SAUR WENT TO WAR

I looked down from a bridge, and saw a huge dinosaur,

He was fighting a grizzly; it was an animal war,

The big grisly got on top,

Gave old dino-face a bop,

The dinosaur ran away, while the grizzly gave a roar.

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THE WINDOWSILL MILLER

There was a dead, bearded miller, on my kitchen windowsill,

I knew he was completely dead, because he laid there, dead still,

Dead bugs, put hunger in my belly,

I slapped a cracker with some  jelly,

To contrast the sweet jelly, I ate a pickle, brined with dill.

ADAM WAS A LITTLE, HUNGRY TROLL

Adam was a cute little troll, a cute little troll, like me,

Then our Adam grew to be six feet tall, by the age of three,

At four, Adam played college B-ball,

By then, he was nearly twelve feet tall,

But Adam was still a troll, and kept eating the referee.

THE BLOOD WORM MOON OF MARCH

My family doctor really likes the blood worm, in the moon of March,

He also said blood worms are tricky, if you eat a lot of starch,

Starch super feeds blood worm babies,

No studies allow for maybes,

Then the only way to kill them, is saltwater that makes them parch.

EVIL UNDER THE BARN

There's a crawlspace underneath the old, stone barn,

Something bad lives there, and if it gets you, Darn!

It has sharp, smelly claws,

Big toothed laden, huge jaws.

The old beast creeps over a bed of hot skarn.

THE SAND HILL OF BEETLES, SEEDS AND BABIES

I am a little orange beetle, climbing up a sandy hill,

I am crunching on some little seeds; can't seem to get my fill,

Once at the top,

I will not stop,

I'll eat down the other side; maybe I'll mate, and have a thrill 

HILL FIRE AND THE PILGRIMS

I'm a big, old fire-breathing dragon, who lives up on the hill,

I scare those pesky pilgrims, who sneak up upon me, for their thrill,

I breath fire upon their britches,

They go screaming for full ditches,

Pilgrims are just darn lucky, I don't barbeque them, like a grill.

SCHOOL LUNCHES: WHAT'S IN YOUR MEATLOAF?

What happened to the animals in the zoo?

When they closed the old zoo, some animals flew,

Other animals, it's said,

Became a stew, for dipped bread,

That news made many little children, boohoo.  😭😭😭😭😭

THE GREAT ANN ARBOR DRAGON

The great Ann Arbor Dragon turned himself into stone,

For he ate sixty tons of pure, crunchy human bone,

What's acceptable to eat,

Is only the human meat,

The skeleton we use to make a nice candle scone.

DRAGONS UNHEALTHY

Dragons will eat nothing but fatty, red meat,

Their fat clogged arteries won't let their hearts beat,

 The dragons are always joking,

They'll never give up their smoking,

The same old story at every wake greet.

SNOT LICKER DRAGON

There is a very young dragon, his name is Mickey,

Mickey will snot on his victims and that is icky,

He don't breath fire,

Friends are his desire,

After he snots on you, our sweet Mickey gets licky.

WHERE THE BOOGEYMAN BE

There was a boogeyman who hung around a boogey-bog,

He had a big boogey-cat, and a little boogey-dog,

He drank boogey-beer,

He ate boogey-deer,

Then the bad boogeyman would sleep under a boogey-log.

THE HOUNDS AND THE BOOGEYMAN

I walked outside into the darkness, because I heard a loud noise,

I ran into the boogeyman, and he was playing with my toys,

He had my leaf rake and hoe,

My old red, Christmas tree bow,

I let lose on him my four hound dogs, Larry, Curly, Shemp and Moe. 

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A CORN IS BORN

Today my dear, pretty mama unicorn,

Had a precious, little corn baby born,

The baby corn was stuck,

From mama, I did pluck,

I pulled out the baby, by his little horn.

THE ZOMBIE RECKONING

Now that we zombies have won the last of all wars,

We are eating the living to settle old scores,

The living killed zombies, like dad,

That made me incredibly sad,

But, crackers, brains and marshmallows, make yummy s'mores.  

THE BEAST OF SUMER VALLEY

The beast that lives in Sumer Valley,

Eats the peasants, quite a tally,

He will jelly them for toast,

Or for dinner, a lamb roast,

With pitchforks and torches, the peasants will rally.

MOUSE BE NIMBLE, MOUSE BE QUICK, OR IN THE GLUE TRAP YOU WILL STICK

Little Ginger was a furry,

She was a mouse not in a hurry,

She moved slowly, tap tap,

Got stuck in a glue trap,

Then the furry started to worry.

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THE HATCHING OF KAYZEARS THE DRAGON

Kayzears the dragon popped out of an egg,

As soon as she popped, she ate my left leg,

The kids hid in a box,

Kayzears was smart as a fox,

After snacking on children, she scarfed down my wife Peg.