SPACE MONSTERS CAN HURT

There's a monster outside my spaceship, and he is from cold, deep space,

I think he wants to eat me, or maybe mess up real bad, my face,

He has long, sharp teeth, to bite,

Long claws to scratch out my sight,

I am wishing right now, I was way back home, by my fireplace.

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HOLIDAY IN PORTUGAL

I went to Portugal to buy some stringy cheese,

While I was there, I bought honey made by some bees,

I ate some cooked, ground pork,

Drank wine; it had a cork,

Ordered a cherry pie, but it had to unfreeze. 

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THE FOUR CHICKENS IN THE SEA

Four little chickens were swimming in the blue sea,

One got a cramped leg, it drowned, then there were just three,

When a monster swallowed two,

The fourth chicken paddled through,

The last swimming chicken, got home to New Guinea.

WHAT DO YOU GET, WHEN YOU CROSS A CATHETER AND A DESKTOP?

My mother was a desktop computer, from old Maine,

My dad was a hospital catheter, from Tulane,

They did not make a fuss,

They got together on a bus,

I was born, a long tube, with a cybertronic, big brain.   

THE CAT SLEEPING IN THE WINDOW

My cat is sleeping in the window, while we're visiting Southern France,

She is staring at some butterflies, as the afternoon hours advance,

She will soon be sunbeam napping,

As her dreaming legs, start flapping,

She will wakeup just before supper, and do her ballet, stretchy leg, dance.

INTERNATIONAL SWEET PEAS, AND JANE

I went to Canada to pick delicious, sweet peas,

I don't like Florida peas, because they make me sneeze,

I popped over to Maine

Met my girlfriend, Jane,

We ate all my sweet peas, gained lots of weight, now we tease.

MARS? DON'T GO THERE

I traveled to Mars, and there wasn't much scenery there,

Just a sickly coconut tree and a small koala bear,

No place good to eat,

No one served fresh meat,

There was a cheap, beauty shop, where they washed and permed my hair.

ADRIATIC FOUND NOME

Adriatic the real nice Martian, ended his interplanetary roam,

He settled down in Northern Michigan, in a quaint, double wide, mobile home,

His neighbors were really mean,

Their gestures were obscene,

Adriatic moved away to charming Alaska, and settled down in Nome.  

TRINA WENT TO CANADA

Trina went to Canada, to buy herself some maple candy,

Trina bought a Canada cap, for her dear, big sister, Sandy,

Trina flew across the Meridian,

Because she is a real Floridian,

Trina made it home by noon, to open her bottle of brandy.

WHEN THE BELLY SAYS "ICE CREAM"

I always go for ice cream cones to the Mancelona Mall,

They pile chocolate ice cream high, at least half a foot tall,

They dab on some pinkish fluff,

Then gritty, powdered nut stuff,

You have to eat your cream quickly, or on the floor it will fall.

GARGOYLE GONE

My gargoyle went out on the big lake,

My very best, darn row boat, he did take,

I called him, " come back home",

He was headed towards Rome,

Maybe, a few hundred years, he will take.

AMERICAN TRAVELS: SPOONING IN CANCUN

I went to Canada to see what I could see,

It's an amazing place, but way to cold for me,

So I went to Cancun,

For some sun, and some spoon,

I think  that it's for sure, where I would rather be.

Martian Drones Are Here Shopping For Christmas🎄🎁

There was a mystery drone that landed on my trailer house,

The drone crushed in the roof a bit, and caused an "eek!", from a mouse,

I snuck outside for a peek,

The drone was taking a leak,

The drone said it was shopping for a Christmas gift, a blouse.

MY MUSIC GOES TO THE MOON

My lunar lander fell to the moon, and had a big, total crash,

I didn't pay attention, I was ear mellowing, to Johnny Cash,

On an alien world of woe,

My bones were broke and crushed, head to toe,

Of earth, I wondered, who would claim my Country Western music stash.

MOON MONSTER PUTS ASTRONAUT ON HIATUS, FOREVER

I walked all the way to Tranquility Base,

There, a mean moon monster got into my face,

Feeling real tough that day,

I told him to run away,

It's ten years since I vanished, without a trace.

JOY RIDDING A REINDEER TO TEXAS

I rode on a magic reindeer in the velvet sky,

I stole the deer from Santa, at the North Pole Fish Fry,

I rode the reindeer all night,

Until I saw the bright light,

Then we touched down in Texas, where the rattlesnakes lie.

DESTINATION SEATTLE

Yesterday, I rode upon the air in a big, old airplane,

A Seattle destination, was my one goal, to obtain,

The dang, old plane hit some torque,

We diverted to New York,

I felt anger and confusion, and it exploded my brain.

LOVE AND NO TOILET

Because there was a pretty girl he wanted to woo,

Donny moved abruptly to a town called Kalamazoo,

He forgot his goldfish,

His tan cat he called Trish,

And the new apartment he rented had no place to poo. 

MY QUEST FOR A NEW HOME WORLD

Mars, the dead red planet, is real dusty,

It makes my white spaceship, look all rusty,

Mars is far and away,

A place I will not stay,

I'm off to a world that's ice crusty.

I MOTORBIKE: FRUIT AND SPLATTER

I bought a little motorbike, so I could journey into town,

The flying bugs splat me in the face, and that makes me have a frown,

In town, my face gets a quick wipe,

I buy fresh fruit that is just ripe,

I soon travel back to my home, the bug splatter won't keep me down.