TRINKET TROLLEY WALLY, AND THE BIRD IN ROME, NAMED POLLY

I sold trinkets off a beautiful, festooned, trinket trolley,

I shared the business with my slow motion, Cousin Wally,

I became really, really miffed,

Because Wally wouldn't work his shift,

I quit the trinket trade, and moved to Rome with my bird, Polly.

MANAGING MY FINANCIAL EMPIRE

I eat only noodles, because that's what I can afford,

My only light is a small lamp, that plugs in with a chord,

My car was taken early today,

Because of my full payment, delay,

My rent is quickly coming due, so found change I will hoard.  

ME SELLS SEASHELLS BY THE SEASHORE

My condo down in Florida, the big bank has whisked away,

I lost my money in the stock market; it is not my day,

I'll move to an Island, called Canary,

There I'll chill, listening to Chuck Barry,

I'll become simple, selling my seashell, jewelry display.

BAKED BEANS ON A STOOL

I went into a public restroom, and it needed multiple cleans,

The white floor was all covered, with chicken livers, and bluegill fish, spleens,

One stool was real busted,

Another, brown crusted,

The last stool was sat upon, by a man eating a can of baked beans.

I ENTERTAIN WITH MY LIPS

I was up on the main stage, showing off my whistling ways,

I whistle real good, and at major concert venues, it pays,

I whistled, "Sweet Mary From Pike",

That's a tune, they usually like,

This audience was grumpy, because of technical delays.

BIG EAT AND SELL MEAT

Jimmy became the cut meat, corporate king, when he stretched out his belly,

Jimmy's secret to success, was eating bagels from the nearby deli,

It was ham, and butter, and cream cheese,

Lots of mayo, and a beg of "Please",

Jimmy's company became number one, selling lamb chops and mint jelly.

INVESTING WE WOE GO

My savings has become awfully low,

It seems to be a big negative grow,

In some crypto that rocks,

I bought iconic stocks,

They've been nothing, but a downward woe go.

I GET EVEN WITH GUPPIES

I was raising expensive little corals in my guppy, fishy tank, 

I wanted to sell corals for money, and put the money in the bank,   

But, those crazy, guppy fish,

Ate my corals, for nutrish,  

I put in the guppy tank a piranha, and his name is Hungry Hank.

BILLY GOT ITCHY

Bill penned out a song that was extraordinary, real nice,

He made the melody on his harmonica, device,

The record was a go,

And, Bill loved the cash flow,

But, he got served for divorce, because he brought home leg lice.

"STICKY FINGERS" RODNEY RAN THE TILL

The gross profit results looked extremely odd,

So, I took it to my accountant, named Todd,

He said someone's been stealing,

From the till, they've been peeling,

I knew it was my daughter's boyfriend, named Rod. 

LAKE SHARKS

There are sharks in all Michigan lakes,

They attack tourists on vacation breaks,

A shark took off my leg,

So, I carves me a peg,

Now, I hunt them to.get me some steaks.

THE TAINTED LEMONADE LIMERICK

MY LEMONADE STAND

The lemonade I sold was not from good juice,

My customers complained that their bowls got too loose,

And, one lady fainted,

Then, called my lemonade tainted,

I ran off when I saw the crowd with the noose. 

WHAT MARTIANS WANT

I bought a large stretch of real estate on planet Mars,

I opened a dealership to sell electric cars,

The Martians would not buy,

Claimed the prices were high,

So I closed down, then opened some disco tech bars.  

THE BEAVER, PANSY AND FRIENDS

Pansy was a beaver, and she dove for fish all day,

Nancy had a clever, and cleaned fish down by the bay,

Pansy sold Nancy fresh fish,

Chef Helen bought the fish for a dish,

They all loved their work, though the profits were only o.k.

THE TAINTED LEMONADE LIMERICK

MY LEMONADE STAND

The lemonade I sold was not from good juice,

My customers complained that their bowls got too loose,

And one lady fainted,

Then called my lemonade tainted,

I ran off when I saw the crowd with the noose. 

TENNESSEE MOONSHINE GENES

Because I live in Tennessee,

I drank moonshine till I couldn't see,

Then mamma gave me a slap,

Said I was a drunk, just like pap,

He'd pass out, then he'd pee.

I AM PROTEIN

I went to see witches to buy magic brew,

Alas, they hit me on the head and threw me into their stew,

It wasn't so bad,

Between the potatoes and bread,

I was the protein for one meal, maybe two.