I'M AN EOW PREPPER.

I'm preparing for the end of the world, nosey ones say,

I've got ninety-five jars of peanut butter, all put away,

I've got a thousand jars of jelly,

Because it fattens a starved belly,

I have a million cans of soda, to clear my throat each day.

A LOCAL ROLLERBLADER, STOLE ALL OF MAMA'S MARMALADE

Someone raided my big, kitchen pantry, and stole all of my fancy, marmalade,

They probably took it to Sunshine Town, where it's worth its weight in gold, in a trade,

They might trade it for whisky, made of corn,

Or, those magazines, descent people scorn,

Most likely, they traded to get into that park, where kids skateboard, and rollerblade.

A TALE OF TWO TUNA TUBS

I bought two tubs of tuna, and found one stinky, rotten, yesterday,

I had left it in the basement, about 16 months ago, I'd say,

The other tuna tub,

Was used to make my sub,

I'm sure I made a massive tuna melt, and that's what I now convey.

PETER POTATO ROTS

There is this big bad potato, his real name is Pete,

He stinks so darn bad, he's never been chosen to eat,

He is out of the potato bin,

Potato stink, is a tater sin,

Someone gave Pete the heave-ho, now he rots near the street.

HUNTER MORTY FEEDS HIS HUN

Morty got a deer today, so now his hunting is done,

He packaged up his venison, and locked away his gun,

His freezer is full of venison and cherries,

Blue, and black and red raspberries,

And ten cases Ding Dongs, that he'll be sharing with his hun.

THE ZOMBIE IN THE APPLE TREE II

There was a big zombie sitting in my apple tree,

Now, he is terrorising glass jars, in my pantry,

He's eating all the canned pears,

And, those canned diced, carrot squares,

I no longer need the stores, he ate my family.

STACKS OF SNACKS PLAN, GOES AWRY

Jimbo liked his potato snack,

He bought them by the case to stack,

But, then one day,

A flood took them away,

Now, the snacks feed the critters that go "quack, quack".

THE NUT HOARDER

There once was this squirrel, his name was Russel,

He worked really hard, that squirrel could hustle,

He hoarded nuts in nut season,

Building wealth was his reason,

But he lost his nuts to a bear in a tussle.

RATS MADE MY TOILET ACCESSIBLE ANYTIME.

The filth in my house gives my house an A+ rat rating,

That's why I'm left home alone, with my family vacating,

With the rats I'll share,

My food pantry laid bare,

A win, win, for now I'll have the bathroom without waiting.