THE TURTLE AND MY ORAL HYGIENE

I have a pet snapping turtle, named Miss Jeanie Cross,

If I don't feed her enough potatoes, Jean goes boss,

She bosses me out the door,

Jean bosses me in the store,

Jean goes ballistic on me, when I brush and don't floss.

TUNA BREATH LIVES ALONE

When my buddy has been eating tuna, he has a tell,

His breath has a nasty, pungent type of exhaust, to smell,

My buddy's breath makes eyes squint,

But, he won't intake a mint,

His roomies kicked him out, and at my place, he will not dwell.

SPRING FORWARD TIME TRAVEL 👎

I dislike it when the Spring clock gets moved forward, one hour,

It clearly disrupts my time traveler super power,

It hurts my quantum brain,

My thoughts drift to insane,

Now, we're all fighting, over our a.m. scheduled shower.

THE GARY PAIR

Gary the dentist and Gary the house fly,

Roomed together in a townhouse in the sky,

Once Dr. Gary copped a tude,

So flying Gary got rude,

He pooped on the fresh eggs, Dr. Gary did fry.

IF YOU HURT MY TRUMPET, I WILL HURT YOUR TOOT EVEN MORE

Benny took my pretty trumpet, and dropped it on the floor,

Then, Benny took my trumpet, and nailed it to the  backdoor,

Benny gets so very mean, 

On every Halloween,

So, I sawed in half his Pan flute, and it will play no more.

CANDY ANDY AND RANDY THE GOAT

I went home to my little shack that was all made of candy,

I had to repair it all the time, because of my billy goat, named Randy,

Randy eats me out of house and home,

Soon with the forest animals, I will roam,

I have no more money to spend at the candy store, owned by Andy.