SANTA AND THE FRIED FROG LEG CHRISTMAS

Santa likes his fresh sugar cookies, but Santa loves his eggnog, 

The one thing Santa loves much better, is a fried leg, off a frog,

Some people always scoff,

To take a frog leg off,

Mrs. Claus cuts off the frog legs, then throws the bodies to the dog.

MISSED THE VLOG MOMENT

I sat fast down on a fat frog on a log,

The messy remains were lapped up by my dog,

After my pooch ate frog slop,

Pooch went hop, hop, hop, hop, hop,

Wish I'd videoed the action for a vlog.

THE FOUR TUBING TOADS, MINUS THREE

Four toads went tubing across the waves,

Three of them found deep water graves,

Splash splash, oh, hark,

Sounds like a shark,

The fourth toad hid in some coral caves.

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BAD TOAD

A toad hopped upon my tablecloth, expecting to eat for free,

I had roast chicken, corn and taters, I cooked up for only me, 

On my table, I laid out my meal,

A great dinner, with an eye appeal,

I told the toad to "get"; he lifted his leg, and commenced to pee.

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THE TOAD, FROG TONGUE SONG SUNG

I once knew a toad, and he was very young,

He had a toad body, but a long, frog tongue,

His tongue lashed out to the sky,

As he caught every fly,

That's when I wrote down, this new song I just sung.

MUDPUPPY AND THE BASS

There was a mudpuppy that got stuck in the mud,

She struggled real hard, but was stuck deep in the crud,

A hero did pass,

It was a rock bass,

The bass freed the pup and they ate worms and a sud.

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POLLIWOG, TO EAT OR PLAY FETCH WITH? THAT IS THE QUESTION

I walked on down to the pond, and there met Mr. Prince Charming,

He had invested his nest eggs into Polliwog farming,

It was just a terrible deal,

Polliwogs have no pet appeal,

As human food, they might look o.k., but their smells are alarming.

FROGS FROM BOGS AND WILD DOGS

I came upon some smelly, white spotted frogs,

They smelled bad, because they lived in the low bogs,

I gave one a slight touch,

But, it was still, too much,

I was poisoned dead, then ate by feral dogs.

TOAD STORY

I once had a fat, pretty pet toad,

He hopped out to hunt bugs in the road,

Toad wanted bug juice to suck,

But, he got squished by a tuck,

And that's how the toad story goed.

MARY LOVED EATING CRAWDADS

Mary loved eating crawdads,

She found them in rivers under stumps,

But, if she ate too many crawdads,

Her hands swelled up with bumps,

When Mary ate lots of crawdads,

She became sweaty and quite wheezy,

Then, her throat would greatly swell up,

And, her food did not go down so easy,

So, Mary quit eating crawdads,

She now eats just tadpoles,

She figures whether it's amphibians or crustaceans,

Their flesh tastes great as does their souls.

TOAD GOES DIVING, AFTER THE NIGHTCLUB

The bouncer wouldn't let the toad into the club,

The all dressed up toad, felt deep hurt from the snub,

Toad got into his car,

Drove down to the dive bar,

Toad was treated with care, even got a foot rub.

TADPOLES GOT TALENT

Tadpoles, tadpoles swimming in my deep, muddy ditch,

Soon you'll be a choir when, in puberty you'll find your pitch,

But at least all of you frogs,

Won't bark all night like dogs,

And if you're pretty and sound real nice, you might even become rich.