LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt

I took the tiny eyes from a newt, then that newt could not see, Then that blind, angry, old newt, put an evil curse upon me, I was making a ...

Santa likes his fresh sugar cookies, but Santa loves his eggnog,  The one thing Santa loves much better, is a fried leg, off a frog, Some pe...

I sat fast down on a fat frog on a log, The messy remains were lapped up by my dog, After my pooch ate frog slop, Pooch went hop, hop, hop, ...

Four toads went tubing across the waves, Three of them found deep water graves, Splash splash, oh, hark, Sounds like a shark, The fourth toa...

A toad hopped upon my tablecloth, expecting to eat for free, I had roast chicken, corn and taters, I cooked up for only me,  On my table, I ...

I once knew a toad, and he was very young, He had a toad body, but a long, frog tongue, His tongue lashed out to the sky, As he caught every...

There was a mudpuppy that got stuck in the mud, She struggled real hard, but was stuck deep in the crud, A hero did pass, It was a rock bass...

I walked on down to the pond, and there met Mr. Prince Charming, He had invested his nest eggs into Polliwog farming, It was just a terrible...

I came upon some smelly, white spotted frogs, They smelled bad, because they lived in the low bogs, I gave one a slight touch, But, it was s...

I once had a fat, pretty pet toad, He hopped out to hunt bugs in the road, Toad wanted bug juice to suck, But, he got squished by a tuck, An...

Mary loved eating crawdads, She found them in rivers under stumps, But, if she ate too many crawdads, Her hands swelled up with bumps,...

The bouncer wouldn't let the toad into the club, The all dressed up toad, felt deep hurt from the snub, Toad got into his car, Drove dow...

Tadpoles, tadpoles swimming in my deep, muddy ditch, Soon you'll be a choir when, in puberty you'll find your pitch, But at least al...