SCHOOL LUNCHES

I had some blue, cooked and canned tuna, and it tasted so bad,

Worse than that green venison, I ate so often, as a lad,

I could not keep either food down,

I had the face of a sad clown,

Mommy took me home from school, gave me toons, and a heating pad.

MAMA, DEATH AND PUDDING

There was a diet on Pete's docket, but Pete had pudding on his breath,

The doctor said, if Pete eats more pudding, his prognosis will be death,

Pete loved calories, from food that was sweet.

That was all that Peter, wanted to eat,

All the sweets in Pete's house were replaced with veggies, by Pete's mama, Beth.

THEY'RE COLORED GREEN; WILL I BE DE-FEETED?

All my pretty feet, are turning a real dark green,

Maybe there's a problem, with my flip, flopping spleen,

Is green a sign of foot woe?

Dead, green meat, and off they go?

And, I just bought new shoes, to celebrate Halloween.

I CREATED SUPER HUMANS, SO NOW WE'LL CONQUER SPACE

To give them the ability to travel through space,

I re-engineered the creatures, called the "human race",

They need little oxygen to survive,

At high radiation levels, they thrive,

Through skin they absorb moisture, any time, any place.

NOCTURNAL BRAIN DRAIN

While asleep last night, out of my ears, leaked my brain,

My entire brain is now, just a bed sheet stain,

I am staying home, sick,

Hope my brain grows back, thick,

If my brain isn't thick enough, out it will drain.

THE CHEDDAR HEARTS

My kids exist to consume, pounds and pounds  of cheddar, string cheese,

They are now looking like milk cattle, because I aimed to please,

I hope maybe they'll shrink,

Drinking a diet drink,

The cheese is now clogging their tickers, and they're starting to wheeze.

I ONCE HAD A BIG GREEN BOIL

I once had a big green, boil, looming large on my right forearm,

The doctor cut the boil off, leaving a scar for chit, chat charm,

I then grew a great, big zit,

On my nose, it took a sit,

One of the critters bit it off, at granny and grandpa's, goat farm.

MY PLAN TO DESTROY THE BRAIN WORM

It seems, my alien brain worm is twisting, and twisting really bad,

It makes one side of my face smile happy, and the other, tear sad,

I'll eat  greased, French fries,

So my  brain worm dies,

The worm will die from a stroke, and my butt will be a soft, sitting pad.

HAIR EVERYWHERE

My best bro was as furry as a big grisly bear,

And, twice everyday, he would shave off all his hair,

The need for furry care,

My bro, thought was unfair,

With some wax and some duct tape, he showed he had a pair.

WORT PICKERS SUBJECT TO FINES AND JAIL

Jimmy picked at his oozing, purple, hairy wart,

That got him arrested, and a day in night court,

Jimmy flubbed his  case,

His defense, no base,

Jimmy went to jail, under a police escort.

FLIP, FLOP AND POP

I had 12 cans of ginger beer pop,

I was drinking ginger beer, non-stop,

I passed out in my sleigh,

They found me next day,

My ulcer gave my heart a flip flop.

HEART FAILURE AND THE KNIFE

There once was an iconic, little blogger who could,

He often made videos about carving craft wood,

Then he'd slice up some ham,

And fry it with lite Spam,

Until his arteries got all clogged, under the hood.

I LOVE MY SALTY AND FATTY MEATS

My pacemaker picked up the heart pace,

So I stayed part of the human race,

I could no longer eat,

Tasty, fatty, salt meat,

And that was a boot kick in the face.

DRAGONS UNHEALTHY

Dragons will eat nothing but fatty, red meat,

Their fat clogged arteries won't let their hearts beat,

 The dragons are always joking,

They'll never give up their smoking,

The same old story at every wake greet.

THE HOT TUB CLUB

I like going to the health club; the hot tub is for me,

I have often wondered, if in the hot tub people pee,

I asked my friend, the chemistry teach,

She said no problems, the club adds bleach,

And the water is changed when the water looks like tea.

IT IS HARD TO GET SKINNY EATING STARCHES AND FAT

Don eats four fruits and a vegetable each day,

Donny keeps his bowels cleared out, that simple way,

French Fries and buttered toast,

Don likes the very most,

Therefore 700 pounds, Don will always weigh.

OLD JEFFREY IN THE MORNING

Jeff had two turkey sausages along with his tea,

He would of had eggs, but they disagree with Jeffrey,

Jeff did drink orange juice,

To keep his bowels loose,

OJ also gives old Jeffrey his vitamin C.

ZOOM DOCTORS DECIDE

I met with four crazy doctors on the Zoom,

They discussed the condition causing my gloom,

They said don't bother to retire,

For I was about to expire,

They said I should contemplate my pending doom.

22024

THEY DIPPED SOME CHIPS IN MY BRAINS

The judge said I was criminally, completely insane,

He ordered AI chips to be stapled into my brain,

I did not feel anything,

Til my ears started to ring,

Then my eyeballs popped out, causing pain.

PORK PIE, NO FINS

Because Bobby only ate food that came in tins,

Bobby was deficient in many vitamins,

He had hunger for pork pie,

He never knew exactly why,

He wouldn't eat any food from creatures that had fins.