WHAT I'VE DONE SINCE COLLEGE

I studied corporate finance, also quantum physics too,

I got a job in banking, managed money, for people like you,

Then the securities market tanked

My security licence was yanked,

Now I'm in a federal prison, but I got a window view.

THE LAST BOY TO SELL BANANAS

The last boy to sell bananas, sold them on the main city street,

He made money selling bananas, because they are good to eat,

He stole them from daddy's small store,

Then, deliveries came no more,

Bananas had gone extinct, so the boy sold pickled piggy feet.

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SOME DAYS, FINANCIAL FRAUD IS HARD

My banker informed me, I'm quickly going broke, it would seem,

Nobody is investing, in my coins that are known as meme

The coins display my pretty face,

They're attractive, in any case,

I spiffed them up with a polish, to bring out their golden gleam .

WRITING ESSAYS FAST AND EASY

I have two long essays, to write, and turn in today,

If I don't  get them done, I'll fail, my professors say,

There is a new, greater power,

That can write an essay, per hour,

Maybe, the great, AI can write me, into an "A".

MY INVESTMENT STRATEGY

I invested in some stocks, and that felt crazy, nice,

I never quite realized, I was just rolling fixed dice,

I lost all of my money,

Got divorced from Sweet Honey,

The only foods I can afford, are split peas and rice.

SCHOOL FLUNKED, PENSION PUNKED

I failed all my finals and flunked out of college school,

I went to work for my uncle, who does dye and tool,

In my 40th year,

Claimed my pension, oh dear,

Seems my uncle had spent it on parties and a pool.

CRUSTY, RUSTY MOUTH

I thought I had a gold tooth that was crusty,

Turns out it was tin and went rusty,

I was charged for the gold,

But, tin I was sold,

Couldn't sue, because my dentist went busty.

RABIES, RED ROIDS AND LIP BOILS

I set up a shop that sold only snake oils,

I claimed they cured rabies, red roids and, lip boils,

But, the authorities, they care,

Said, "there's no real science there,"

So, in the state prison laundry I toils.