LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt

I bought a little motorbike, so I could journey into town, The flying bugs splat me in the face, and that makes me have a frown, In town, my...

I stopped my pickup to see about giving a gator, aid, He was gimping down the highway, near the old pinball arcade, I asked him, "you...

My beautiful, brand new sailboat was seven meters long, I named her after a punk band, The Seven Meters Song, Because of bourbon and tea, I ...

There's a monster outside my spaceship, and he is from cold, deep space, I think he wants to eat me, or maybe mess up real bad, my face,...

I went to Portugal to buy some stringy cheese, While I was there, I bought honey made by some bees, I ate some cooked, ground pork, Drank wi...

Four little chickens were swimming in the blue sea, One got a cramped leg, it drowned, then there were just three, When a monster swallowed ...

My mother was a desktop computer, from old Maine, My dad was a hospital catheter, from Tulane, They did not make a fuss, They got together o...

My cat is sleeping in the window, while we're visiting Southern France, She is staring at some butterflies, as the afternoon hours advan...

I went to Canada to pick delicious, sweet peas, I don't like Florida peas, because they make me sneeze, I popped over to Maine Met my gi...

I traveled to Mars, and there wasn't much scenery there, Just a sickly coconut tree and a small koala bear, No place good to eat, No one...

Adriatic the real nice Martian, ended his interplanetary roam, He settled down in Northern Michigan, in a quaint, double wide, mobile home, ...

Trina went to Canada, to buy herself some maple candy, Trina bought a Canada cap, for her dear, big sister, Sandy, Trina flew across the Mer...

I always go for ice cream cones to the Mancelona Mall, They pile chocolate ice cream high, at least half a foot tall, They dab on some pinki...

My gargoyle went out on the big lake, My very best, darn row boat, he did take, I called him, " come back home", He was headed tow...

I went to Canada to see what I could see, It's an amazing place, but way to cold for me, So I went to Cancun, For some sun, and some spo...

There was a mystery drone that landed on my trailer house, The drone crushed in the roof a bit, and caused an "eek!", from a mouse...

My lunar lander fell to the moon, and had a big, total crash, I didn't pay attention, I was ear mellowing, to Johnny Cash, On an alien w...

I walked all the way to Tranquility Base, There, a mean moon monster got into my face, Feeling real tough that day, I told him to run away, ...

I rode on a magic reindeer in the velvet sky, I stole the deer from Santa, at the North Pole Fish Fry, I rode the reindeer all night, Until ...

Yesterday, I rode upon the air in a big, old airplane, A Seattle destination, was my one goal, to obtain, The dang, old plane hit some torqu...