I HAVE NO JOB, SO I'LL SQUAT

Because the airlines operate on a massive delay,

I missed a meeting and got a big reduction in pay,

In fact, I was  fired,

That wasn't desired,

With no paycheck for rent; I'll find a nice squat, where I'll stay.

OBVIOUS CHOICE: CANDY BARS OR ELECTRIC CARS

I'm shooting a world killing missile to Mars,

To blast it into one trillion, sweet candy bars,

With tasty bars to eat,

I'll quit overpriced meat,

I may make the guy mad, who sells battery cars.

GOING SLOW, HELPS LONGEVITY GROW, FOR TRAINS

There was an ancient, slow train that did not like to go fast,

It had a steam engine built in some century, long past,

The coal fuel caused massive pollution,

But, the train was an institution,

It seems the slower pace, helped the antique trains parts, to last.

LOOK BOTH WAYS, AND UP

I drove my car up to the train tacks, in a little, rural town,

I looked for the train one way, up, and the other way, I looked down,

I geared my car into humming,

Across the tracks I was coming,

An airplane fell on top of my head, now I wear an Angel's gown.

I WISH UPON THE SERPENT

There is a big, mighty, green sea serpent, and his name is Moe,🐉

He swims alongside everywhere, my little boat will go,🚣

Sometimes I get rowboat tired,

I then wish the beast, whom I've admired,

Would push or pull my boat along, so I would not have to row..

POUNDING A RIDE TO THE GUM STORE

I needed gum from a gum store, and I needed to get there really quick,

The only transport I could legally drive, was grandpa's old pogo stick,

I hiped and I hoped,

Sometimes fell, and flopped,

I got to the gum store before it closed, and got some gum to chew and lick.

YOU BROKE MY BACKSEAT

I have a bicycle built for two,

Of course, my backseat broke off on you,

Because you nag talk,

I'll just let you walk,

And I'll bike away, beyond your view.

I MOTORBIKE: FRUIT AND SPLATTER

I bought a little motorbike, so I could journey into town,

The flying bugs splat me in the face, and that makes me have a frown,

In town, my face gets a quick wipe,

I buy fresh fruit that is just ripe,

I soon travel back to my home, the bug splatter won't keep me down.

THE PIXIE TRANSPORTATION PROBLEM

There was a little pixie named Mike,

He traveled my porch riding a bike,

Riding bike was the sin,

That caused the porch to cave in,

Now when Mike goes anywhere, he must hike.

YOU CAN WADDLE FOR FREE

My bicycle got ran over by a big truck,

A good fix would cost me many a saw buck,

My bike's in the trash,

I saved lots of cash,

Now I just walk, more like waddle, like a duck.

MANGE PUT WORK OUT OF RANGE

I played with my quite doggy, and I caught a case of mange,

Then when I went to work, people looked at me real strange,

Someone made a big fuss,

I got kicked off the bus,

Unfortunately, my work was beyond my walking range.

SEASONS FREEZE

When the winter cold, frostbites the frail bones,

And makes fingers ache, that tap on iPhones,

When a missed homeward ride,

Means a slow walk outside,

And one sleepless night of coughing and moans.

THE LIGHTNING STRIKE AND MY WHEELS

There was a blasted lightning strike,

It blew apart my motorbike,

I didn't at all care, 

I had one to spare,

It has three wheels, and called a trike.

I FELT OK UNTIL THE CLOWN

I decided to ride my motor scooter into town,

But I went way too slow, and I quickly got run down,

The first car really hurt,

The second caused blood squirt,

Then I was run over by a semi, driven by some clown.

PICKUP RELIABILITY

My old pickup truck, it runs like flirtin',

It takes you so far but, that's not for certain,

It has starts and stops,

It booms, farts and, pops,

If you needs be someplace, you're hurtin',