EEK AND ZEEK, PEEK AND SEEK

I have two uncles, they are twins, named Zeek and Eek,

When they saw pretty girls, they would sneak a peek,

The girls thought the peek was a stare,

So did local Constable Robare,

Now, Zeek and Eek,  the President's pardon they seek.   

I'M NOT INVITING UNCLE PAUL, TO ANY MORE FAMILY FUNERALS

I did not notice his mass food intake,

At my deceased ma's memorial wake,

He ate it all,

My Uncle Paul,

The pie, the doughnuts and the coffee cake.

I WAS GONNA VOTE, BUT I WENT TO JAIL

I went to vote on this sunny day,

I could vote what I wanted to say,

The parking was real tight,

I got into a fight,

I went to jail, and that's where I'll stay.

THE PARTY PIG AND THE PIE

Jon took his two favorite fingers, and stuck them deep in the pie,

Someone caught him committing the crime, with their big green watery eye,

Jon dripped cherry filling on his clothes

Then someone popped him in the nose,

They said he was a disgusting pig, and he'd better go bye, bye.

I FINGERED SOMEONE

Someone was picking their nose,

And, wiping it allover their clothes,

Mama got mad,

Nose picker got sad,

I told everyone, and that added to woes.

I FED A FERRET, AND HE POOPED ON MY FLOOR

I invited a ferret over for dinner, but he was not very nice,

He was always chattering and chattering, and gave my youngest lice,

And in my bathroom, he did more,

He missed my toilet, and nailed the floor,

I grabbed that ferret by the tail, and escorted him out my door.

PING PONG WITH GAS

I went to the temple, Ding Dong,

To meet a big hairy dude named King Kong,

King Kong was rude,

He belched eating food,

And farted while playing ping pong.

DONNY'S STICKY FINGERS

Donny's fingers were all sticky,

Because he made cookie dough and did a finger licky

Of course he's a gross dude,

And at best, he's called crude,

His kin should give him a !little butt kicky.

WHERE THE WILD THINGS LIVE (NEXT DOOR)

My neighbors went feral again,🐺🐅🐅🐶🐱🐘🐂🐗

They ate all my pigeons and kin,👩‍👩‍👧‍👧👩‍👦‍👦👩‍👧👨‍👦‍👦👩‍👩‍👧‍👧

They ate my sugar and molasses,🎂🍰

Wiped my carpet with their asses,💩💩💩💩

And gnawed holes in my meats cased by tin.🥫🥫

JIM, THE CUTTER OF CHEESE

Jim cut the cheese before every meal,

To most of the family, Jim's cheese had no appeal,

But he always made more, 

Had an abundant store,

He'd share cheese at work, like he was a wheel.